I have been dating my boyfriend for three years and every year we spend Thanksgiving together. We eat dinner with his family at his aunt's house and then we drive to my parent's house for dessert. This year however, Thanksgiving dinner in my family is being held at my grandfather's house and I'd like to be there.
My grandfather is 98 years old and my entire family is flying in from all over the country so we can all be together for what might be the last time. I have asked my boyfriend to come with me and change this year's tradition, but he refuses.
He wants to spend Thanksgiving at his aunt's house like he does every year. I am always very accommodating and have canceled plans before in order to spend time with his family. This is the first year that my mom's entire family will be here for Thanksgiving and I am so hurt that my boyfriend is being so stubborn. What should I do? Do you think that I have a right to be upset? Angered Angie
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Dear Angered Angie
I am sorry that your boyfriend is being so obstinate. Have you explained to him how important seeing your family is to you? Is he aware of your grandfather's health issues and the reason why this year's celebration is so special? If so, what is the reason for his selfish behavior?
Perhaps bringing a compromise to the table could sway your boyfriend's decision. Try suggesting spending time at his aunt's house earlier in the day to help with the cooking and to watch the football game, etc... and then you both can make your way to your grandfather's house in time for dinner. Many couples have to be creative with time management in order to accommodate both families.
If your boyfriend continues to be inflexible about your turkey day plans, you are unfortunately going to have to spend Thanksgiving apart this year. Remind him that in successful and satisfying relationships, very often people have to compromise to try and make each other happy. Also remind him that his presence at your grandfather's house would mean a lot to you. Happy Thanksgiving.