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I'm Bi

"I'm Bisexual — So Now What?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've finally admitted to myself that I am attracted to both men and women; it wasn't a conscious decision to be bi, but when I realized that I feel the same feeling towards some women as I do towards some men, I had to take a step back and look at myself objectively and accept the truth.

I've been glum lately, feeling guilty for being "different," but since I've looked into bisexuality and how it doesn't mean we're promiscuous or commitment phobic or "sitting on the fence" I've felt better about myself and who I am. I have the capacity to adore both men and women and the ability to see the beauty of both genders.

I can't feel ashamed anymore if what I feel feels natural and right. I just have no idea whom I should make aware of my sexuality. Should I tell my parents because I have been acting out at them lately and I feel that I owe them an explanation? I did tell a close friend about my sexuality. She seemed supportive yet I'm worried that I've ruined our friendship because she's seen a whole other dimension of my character; the real me. I feel that I can only be happy if I accept myself and that's what I'm trying to do now. Any words of advice would be appreciated.

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FiFi17 FiFi17 5 years
Hey its something that has to happen eventually to be honest I wish I had waited a year but I don't regret it I am now with the most beautiful girl in the world and I couldn't be if I hadn't come out with it. but take your time its scary and hard to tell your family.
fingerscrossed fingerscrossed 5 years
I don't know if I want to revel my sexuality to my mom. She is still upset that I went to grad school and bought a car. She is still upset that my ex best friend was a manipulative, spoiled, bitch, and we were just friends. I don't think can handle this kind of substantial news. She is a worrier and her worries become my pressure...if that makes sense. When I relocated she gave me such crap and still likes to through her doubts at me all the time. This may be too much. I may sound like I am making excuses and maybe I am, when my mom gets scared she becomes stronger, controlling, and blunt. I don't know if this is the best idea for me and my family? I do give props to though above who did feel the need to share and had the courage to be honest with the ones they loved.
fingerscrossed fingerscrossed 5 years
I am finally admitting to myself that I am bisexual. It has always been there and I am finally acknowledging it. Which is both exciting and scary. Since I am new to the culture I have questions. I am trying to learn about it and don't want anyone to be offended if they sound ignorant, or stereotypes. In same sex couples do partners take on "husband", "wife" persona's? Also, I am not sure exactly how to please a women sexually, how can I find out how? Where do I meet other bisexual women?
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
I told my mom I was bi when I was 15, and she wasn't surprised or offended. We talked about girls I was interested or seeing the same way we talked about boys. I didn't tell my dad because our relationship's more strained. But then he found out... accidentally... when I was 23. I don't know how old you are, but if you're an adult and out of the house, it might be worth it to mention (when you're ready of course). Once you're used to not hiding it, you stop being conscientious about the certain persons you hadn't told. Lemme tell ya, that was awkwarrrrrd.
SocialistLez SocialistLez 5 years
Anyone who cannot accept you is no friend. As far as telling your parents, maybe explain you're bi once you have a same-sex partner. With the older generation, it seems they are more comfortable with black and white scenarios. Either you love the same sex or you don't. I wish you the best.
SocialistLez SocialistLez 5 years
Anyone who cannot accept you is no friend.As far as telling your parents, maybe explain you're bi once you have a same-sex partner.With the older generation, it seems they are more comfortable with black and white scenarios. Either you love the same sex or you don't.I wish you the best.
wassy988 wassy988 5 years
I love this comment. I found myself to be bi a few years ago, but never really accepted it or understood it until I met the partner of my dreams, who happened to be a woman. After three and a half years, I am happy I made the choice to go with my heart rather than anything else. In terms of telling your parents, it all depends on the parent. I find that most people don't accept being bi as much as even being 100% gay, so unless it presents itself as a situation where you date one sex one year and the other the next time, I would keep it low-key without explanation. Just go with the flow and do as you want to. There is nothing wrong with experimenting and trying out what makes you happiest.
wassy988 wassy988 5 years
I love this comment. I found myself to be bi a few years ago, but never really accepted it or understood it until I met the partner of my dreams, who happened to be a woman. After three and a half years, I am happy I made the choice to go with my heart rather than anything else. In terms of telling your parents, it all depends on the parent. I find that most people don't accept being bi as much as even being 100% gay, so unless it presents itself as a situation where you date one sex one year and the other the next time, I would keep it low-key without explanation. Just go with the flow and do as you want to. There is nothing wrong with experimenting and trying out what makes you happiest.
senorita senorita 5 years
I agree with everyone!
senorita senorita 5 years
I agree with everyone!
CameoRose CameoRose 5 years
Thank you both for your comments. I am going to leave it a while before I tell my parents since I want to tell them when I'm slightly more comfortable with who I am. I did tell my best friend and she was supportive and she doesn't see me as any different, which I did fear that she was going to do. I also told my gay friend because I wanted advice on how to accept my sexuality and he was supportive too. So I'm glad I'm not alone in this although I doubt that I'm going to tell anyone else just yet. For now I need to explore my sexuality and embrace my feelings. Thanks again for the comments xx
Venus1 Venus1 5 years
HiI don't think you need tell your parents. But you have to weigh this one up. Clearly there are other things you don't tell them. I would suggest tell those people where you feel comfortable but remember you are entitled to your privacy in life too..Finally welcome to an exciting and beautiful new world, it really is something special. See my profile for a little more about where I am coming from.Best wishes. x
Venus1 Venus1 5 years
Hi I don't think you need tell your parents. But you have to weigh this one up. Clearly there are other things you don't tell them. I would suggest tell those people where you feel comfortable but remember you are entitled to your privacy in life too.. Finally welcome to an exciting and beautiful new world, it really is something special. See my profile for a little more about where I am coming from. Best wishes. x
FiFi17 FiFi17 5 years
Go with your gut instinct on who to tell. Be careful with parents when you tell them. Just a tip make a packet of information and give it to them when you tell them so they are less confused. Good luck
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