I have been with my boyfriend for over eight years and I am ready to start a family with him. We are in an extremely happy and committed relationship, we are financially stable, but he is not emotionally ready. We are not getting any younger and I feel that the time is right for me now. How can I make him see we are more ready than he thinks to start a family? Baby on the Brain Jane
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Dear Baby on the Brain Jane
Starting a family is a life changing decision and it is not to be taken lightly. I think it is important for both partners in a relationship to be on the same page when deciding to bring a new life into this world. If your man is not ready, you can't force him into this; he's got to be ready on his own. Do you know why he is hesitant about starting a family?
I would suggest sitting down with him and talking out the answers to the following questions:
- Can you afford a child and everything that comes along with caring for a child such as health care, home care, emotional care, education, shelter, etc...
- Do you have adequate insurance to support yourself and your child during your pregnancy?
- Do you and your boyfriend have a similar vision, set of ideals and values on child-rearing?
- Have you ever discussed how you might discipline a child? What are your thoughts on education? How about religious stances?
If you are itching to begin baby making then sit down soon to discuss all of these questions. You may find yourselves coming to harmonious agreements or you may find out that you have opposing positions on these issues. The most important thing to do is to get talking. Once you guys get through answering the hard questions, you'll have a better idea about where you stand in all of this. I hope it works out for you guys. Good luck.