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Interested in Younger Man

Group Therapy: Interested in a Younger Guy

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I am 27 years old and currently dating two people. One is my age, has a great job, is good looking and very nice. The other is 22, has a decent job and just makes me laugh.

At this point I am way more intrigued by the 22 year old. Everything is much more comfortable with him and bottom line, fun. Why is it that I am more taken with someone that I don't see much of a future with than the person that would be the obvious choice?

The age difference bothers me, but what also bothers me is why wouldn't I be looking for someone to be with forever? Am I deliberately avoiding forever or do I go where my feelings lead me?

Any advice would be great! Thanks.

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Janine22 Janine22 5 years
Perhaps you like the younger guy because you just want fun at this point in your life? I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. You cannot control who you fall for. Also, speaking from personal experience, sometimes the guy that is wildly inappropriate is more of a challenge. Whether we admit it or not, a lot of women and men enjoy a challenge. We get crushes on people that are not right for us, don't feel the same way, are in a relationship already, etc..etc.. I say follow your heart and your instincts right now. Also I would have to agree that it might be best if you are upfront with both of them and tell them that you are seeing another person. Otherwise it could get really weird or bad if they find out accidentally. But it is totally up to you. Play on player! ;) And have fun.
Sherrilee Sherrilee 5 years
You probably have more fun with the younger guy, maybe even more in common with him. That is not such a big age difference. However if you can't see much of a future with the younger guy it may be because he isn't stable or secure. You have the weigh the situation but as an older woman I don't think this is hardly any age difference.
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 5 years
I don't see anything wrong with the age difference. You're having fun, and that counts for something, too. Also, just because someone looks good on paper doesn't mean he is a good lifetime mate. There are a lot of factors that go into who we ultimately commit to, and someone you feel comfortable with and enjoy being around is just as (more) important as someone who looks good on paper. If you commit to someone just because he makes sense logically, you may find yourself bored and looknig elsewhere for fun after awhile.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
Are you worried that you've got some kind of aversion to commitment or something? Because there's nothing saying that dating has to be a constant quest for a future husband. Some people don't want that. Some people date for fun.
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
You can't help your feelings and who you "fall for." Don't worry too much about what each guy looks like "on paper." Worry about where your heart is taking you. The age difference isn't that big a deal. The only thing I question these guys know you're dating someone else? I would suggest being honest with both of them if you haven't been. I would want to know if I were in their shoes. And if they are both cool with it being casual, then continue to date them both for the time being. Good luck and have fun.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 5 years
OP, We are all looking for someone who will be our 'rock,' someone we can depend on for emotional support when we are feeling down in the dumps. Is this younger guy your 'rock' when you need him to be? Or is he just too young to do this for you?
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
Don't worry about making a decision. Keep dating both guys and having fun. One of them, or both, will eventually offer a commitment at some point. That's when you decide. For now, it's not your problem. ...But at the same time, if you absolutely decide you don't want to date the older guy anymore, go ahead and cut him loose. Just don't assume you are obligated to choose one or the other when no commitments are on the table.
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