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Invasion Of The Diary Snatcher

Dear Sugar
I am 18, and a senior in high school. I've kept personal diaries since the age of 11 in an old suitcase under my bed. Lately, I have been writing about my best friend who has become quite promiscuous. I'm worried about her but I don't know how to talk to her about it, so I have been writing my feelings down to get my worry off of my chest.

Last weekend my friend spent the weekend at my house. Saturday afternoon after I got out of the shower, she said she had to go home and abruptly ran out of my house pretty upset. I called her later that day to ask her what was wrong and she said that she had read my diary. She said she was really hurt by what I had written about her and told me I was a terrible person.

Monday at school, all of our friends made me feel guilty for hurting her feelings. It didn't occur to me until later that she had invaded my privacy by reading my diary. My words were not mean spirited, however, they were not meant for her to read either.

My best friend and I haven't spoken since and to be honest, right now I am so angry with her that I don't really care. But I am upset that my friends are taking her side. How can I make my friends see that what I did wasn't wrong? Let Down Laurie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Letdown Laurie
Wow, I am sorry. Your diary is a place for you to keep a private collection of your thoughts and what your friend did by reading it without your permission is an invasion of your privacy. You have every reason to be upset. You should never feel badly about expressing your feelings in a forum based only for you. It's a very healthy release. How did your friend know where you hid your diary?

Have you tried telling your friend your side of the story? Do any of your other friends keep diaries? Try explaining to them that what you write about in your diary is not meant to hurt any one's feelings and is just a way to express your emotions in a private way. Talk to her and tell her you are sorry she has hurt feelings, but she hurt your feelings as well.

Sometimes arguments between friends take time to heal. All relationships are built on trust so your friend is going to have to rebuild that bond with you if you can forgive her for betraying you. If you are worried about the path your friend is on, perhaps you could use this time to voice your concerns and let her know you are worried about her. Hopefully something good can come out of this. Good luck.

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