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I've Been Lying About My Virginity

Sunday Confessional: I've Been Lying About My Virginity

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I have lied to every single one of my friends who has ever asked me about being a virgin. I always say that I am not a virgin, because the people that I interact with on a daily basis talk trash/make fun of virgins (I'm on a sports team). I know that this is something someone should not be ashamed of, but I'm 21 and can't handle listening to all of their sex stories knowing that they think I understand what they are talking about and can contribute to the conversation. I've had boyfriends, but we never got to the level of sex. Now my dilemma is that I'm almost out of college and can't bear the fact that I could finish college and enter the real dating world as a virgin. My constant internal debate is deciding whether I should wait for a great guy (who I won't find in college, all the guys here are pricks), or just give it up to the next one that asks to take me home after a late night at the bars.

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GregS GregS 5 years
You don't lose points for being a virgin. I wouldn't advertise it too much until you find the right man. He should know beforehand.I like Betty's "shoot from the hip" style, but I'll say that you stand a better chance in college than you do out of it. In college you have access to a lot of activities, clubs and study-groups that you won't have in the real world. Explore them. Every interest you have. The boys in those groups will have similar interests to yours and more likely be compatible to you.
GregS GregS 5 years
You don't lose points for being a virgin. I wouldn't advertise it too much until you find the right man. He should know beforehand. I like Betty's "shoot from the hip" style, but I'll say that you stand a better chance in college than you do out of it. In college you have access to a lot of activities, clubs and study-groups that you won't have in the real world. Explore them. Every interest you have. The boys in those groups will have similar interests to yours and more likely be compatible to you.
BorgesMarquez BorgesMarquez 5 years
I love the Scubagirl's comment! I am freaking out that I will be 23 in a week and never even got a kiss. I been getting desperate but like Scuba- if i waited until this age might as well wait a lil longer for at least a stable boyfriend who treats me well. OP i suggest you wait a lil longer and take it slow. DO NOT just give it to the next guy that takes you home.
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
If you've had boyfriends but never taken it to that level, my guess is that you're not ready. And whether you're 15, 21, or 37, if you're not ready, you're not ready. The quality of men surrounding you, and the judgemental friends you have aside, it just sounds like you're not ready. Don't just give it away to make a point. Wait till you're ready. And if you suddenly find yourself ready with some random dude after a night at the bar, fine. Do your thing. But make sure it's what YOU want, not what others are making you feel like you should do.
scubagurl7 scubagurl7 5 years
I completely understand where you are coming from. I stayed a virgin throughout college because I wanted my first time to be special. But like you I never got to that level with any of my boyfriends in college. I had considered just having sex with a random person just to get it over with but I figured I waited so long already I could wait a little bit longer until I found the right guy. I finally lost my virginity this year (I'm 24) and I'm so happy that I waited! My first time was amazing and was with my wonderful boyfriend who I truly love. It is honestly worth waiting for someone special! And if you are worried about being a virgin when you reach the real dating world, seriously do not worry! The right guy will not care and will actually feel honored that you trust him enough to move up to the next level with him.
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer 5 years
Back in the day when my friends used to poke fun at me for being a virgin, I just told them I wasn't ready to give it to any guy. I was picky about who I gave it to, and I wanted it to be special. One thing I used often goes something like this: I'd be out with friends, and somehow the topic of being a virgin would come up. I'd just shrug at them and say: "Well then you guys should help me find a suitable guy (I liked to say 'husband', but I know not everyone would use that word.) for me to lose it to!" Eventually I lost it to one of my past boyfriends, one of whom I loved dearly, so I don't regret today. But I did want until I was 19, far past many of my girlfriends. Another point: While I agree with Betty Wayne's comment about the dating pool not really changing much after college, I don't really think that's what's going on here. I think what it is, is the OP not being able to lock down the great guys that ARE going to college. I would suggest taking a look at the male friends you HAVE made in college, and really put them up against some of the other guys you might not know. Open up a bit more, and make friends with guys you wouldn't normally make friends with. You never know what you will find.
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer 5 years
Back in the day when my friends used to poke fun at me for being a virgin, I just told them I wasn't ready to give it to any guy. I was picky about who I gave it to, and I wanted it to be special. One thing I used often goes something like this: I'd be out with friends, and somehow the topic of being a virgin would come up. I'd just shrug at them and say: "Well then you guys should help me find a suitable guy (I liked to say 'husband', but I know not everyone would use that word.) for me to lose it to!" Eventually I lost it to one of my past boyfriends, one of whom I loved dearly, so I don't regret today. But I did want until I was 19, far past many of my girlfriends. Another point: While I agree with Betty Wayne's comment about the dating pool not really changing much after college, I don't really think that's what's going on here. I think what it is, is the OP not being able to lock down the great guys that ARE going to college. I would suggest taking a look at the male friends you HAVE made in college, and really put them up against some of the other guys you might not know. Open up a bit more, and make friends with guys you wouldn't normally make friends with. You never know what you will find.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
I highly doubt *all* the guys at your college are pricks. Honestly, you sound kind of like a snob, and naive too. What do you think the 'real dating world' is? A place where all the men have money and good looks and they are all witty and compassionate and loyal? A place where all those college 'pricks' turn into prince charming as soon as they walk across the stage to get their degree?I don't know what to tell you about your secret virginity, but if you think leaving college will magically improve the dating pool... you're wrong.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
I highly doubt *all* the guys at your college are pricks. Honestly, you sound kind of like a snob, and naive too. What do you think the 'real dating world' is? A place where all the men have money and good looks and they are all witty and compassionate and loyal? A place where all those college 'pricks' turn into prince charming as soon as they walk across the stage to get their degree? I don't know what to tell you about your secret virginity, but if you think leaving college will magically improve the dating pool... you're wrong.
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