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I've Never Had an Orgasm!

I've Never Had an Orgasm!

Dear Sugar--

For almost a year now I have been involved with a man, and it was great for a while, I still feel there is a lot of chemistry between us inside and outside the bedroom, the thing is I never have orgasms when we have sex, I don't know why, maybe it's the fact that he's married and I feel like crap for being in a relationship of this nature but truth be told...I've never had an orgasm during sex, I'm 29 years old and I'm scared something is wrong with me, I need some advice.

--Unsatisfied Samantha

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Unsatisfied Samantha--

I really doubt that something is wrong with you - many women don't have orgasms during sex, or ever at all, which is a sad truth. It may be a good idea to spend some time alone with yourself to figure out what you like and what gets you excited. Then when you're with a guy, you can tell him (or show him) how to push your buttons. While you're at it, you can also tell him to slow down - it's like a 50-meter dash with some guys - they make it to the finish line before you've even laced up your sneakers.

Another thing - foreplay is HUGE. And I'm not talking about 10 minutes of kissing your neck. I'm talking about ALL DAY foreplay. It starts in the morning, when he wakes up, rolls over to give you a 5-minute hug, and then makes you breakfast. Then later on in the day he calls you and tells you he misses you, and asks you to go to dinner. Maybe you find a sweet note he left in your car, and later before dinner, he tells you how soft your hair is, or how cute you look in your new jeans. Then after dinner he says, "Maybe we should plan a weekend away, just the two of us."

That's right - when it comes to being sexually aroused, we need to be warmed up emotionally too. Women are all about their feelings, so when we feel loved, wanted, desired, and appreciated, sex is bound to be amazing.

Also, an orgasm's not going to be happening if you have your mind on something, or the orgasm itself, which brings up the fact that you're sleeping with a married man. I know you don't need me to tell you to stop seeing him, but since you seem to know it's wrong, that could be your major buzz kill right there. Find yourself a single guy, so he can give you all his love and attention. You shouldn't be sharing your man with anyone else. Good luck!


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