As a 20-something girl I'm pretty much used to comparing myself to other girls from my years in high school. I know there's not some magical formula to becoming okay with yourself, but I know there are steps or habits that can alleviate the terrible misery of constantly feeling less than.
I've been single for over two years. Not really saying this is bad. I guess in retrospect I've needed this time to focus on school (and to date total assholes who have taught me a lot about myself). But now I've reached a point in my life where I'm like "okay, I'm actually ready right now to give this a shot." But I'm finding myself being intimidated by all the other girls in the dating pool.
Keep reading for the rest of the dilemma and to share your advice!
I know exactly what triggered it. I have a pretty solid friend group, and recently it's been getting bigger through mutual friends/common interests and stuff. So basically there's this new girl that I think beats me in every arena. She's prettier, her hair is longer and not fake (like mine), and she's much more of an extrovert than I am. More . . . voluptuous. She even dresses better than me, which is something I pride myself on (unfortunately). Obviously the problem here is ME and MY perceptions, but all my friends kind of validate my defeatist thinking by praising her, blah blah, wanting to be around her more often. No one really strives to hang out with me if you know what I mean. I'm just kinda there.
I am more quiet and reserved, and she's more of the party girl. I'm the type of person who becomes fun/hilarious once you get to know me, and I've become comfortable with you. And I envy her ability to walk in and snag attention instantly, while I'm more like a slow burning type of interest.
ANYWHO, it just made me think that as far as men go (college-aged guys who need instant gratification), no one will want to be bothered with cracking my shell. I am by no means a hermit or incredibly awkward or super stuck up, I'm just nervous around new people. And I've tried so hard to NOT be this way, but it's impossible. It's practically genetic and irreversible.
I know that it's useless to feel ugly and weird, but I don't know how else to feel. All the guys who have ever shown interest with me have conveniently been friends of friends. But as I leave college and venture out, I won't have that luxury anymore when we all disperse into our separate lives.