I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of miss Jake and Vienna. The Bachelor vets brought lots of crazy to the franchise and gave viewers a reason to tune in. The only contestant from this season of The Bachelorette who could possibly make the cut for Bachelor Pad, the offshoot that is more blatant about capitalizing on unstable cast members, would be Kalon. He's this season's villain, who made his grand entrance in a helicopter. The other guys take offense to Kalon's supposedly sophisticated vocabulary and choice of luggage. Could it get more tame than that?
Between baking cookies and Muppets, Kalon, aka Chopper, did sour the saccharine season momentarily last night in episode two, picking a fight with single dad Doug while lounging in the pool with his stunna-shades on. Kalon accused Doug of taking time off from being a dad to compete on the show and said, "I always imagined that my first child would be my actual child." Uh oh. I see tears in the future when Emily gets wind of that. Watch the clip of the pool fight now, and tell me if you think viewers would rather be entertained by the reality TV dating show than see the contestants "find love."