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Knocked Up By A One Night Stand

Dear Sugar
I am a junior in college and I just found out I am pregnant. The father is a guy that I had a one night stand with. I am not a promiscuous girl and this was the first time I have ever been with a stranger. At the beginning of the night we exchanged phone numbers, and he seemed like someone I would want to go out with, but when we woke up it was really uncomfortable.

We shared an awkward glance and we didn't even really talk. Within five minutes of being awake, he quickly got dressed and he left without even so much as a warm goodbye. To be honest, I barely remember him. If not for the name and number on the crumpled up bar napkin that was in my jeans pocket, I may not even have remembered his name.

It has been three and a half weeks and he has not called me. I know I need to explore my options immediately as I certainly wasn't planning on this pregnancy. I obviously don't know this guy, but since I do have his phone number, is it my obligation to contact and consider him before I make a decision about this pregnancy on my own? One Night Stand Sophie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear One Night Stand Sophie
This is a very personal decision that only you can make. Have you reached out to any of your friends or family members so that you are not alone in your decision making process? If you are struggling and you don't want to involve anyone that you know personally, I suggest going to a school counselor and talking to someone there for an objective opinion.

We are lucky to live in a society, where woman have many options when it comes to unplanned pregnancy. If talking to a school counselor is still too close for comfort then a great place to research family planning choices and birth control (for the future) is at Planned Parenthood. This free or low cost center can help educate and mentor you during this difficult time.

Since you technically don't know your one night stand, I think that you have complete freedom in making the choice of whether to tell him or not to tell him about the pregnancy. Having his phone number makes it easy to contact him, but by no means requires you to tell him.

Talking to him might make things a little more clear for you but if your decision is to not tell him, again, that choice is yours. You must do what you feel is right so that this decision doesn't come back to haunt you. Remember that you have options so please consider all of them. Good luck.

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