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Dear Sugar
I think I have fallen in love with a friend of mine; actually one of my best friends. We spend a lot of time together and I always feel great whenever I am with her. She is currently dating a new guy and I have been finding myself very jealous of him.

I feel a very deep connection with my girlfriend, and most of the time I associate it with our closeness, but sometimes I am catching myself liking her more than a friend. She seems to be really happy with her boyfriend but I can't deny my feelings. Do you think that I should talk to her about how I feel? Lustful Liza

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Lustful Liza
The line between friendship and lovers can be very tricky. Have you ever been in a lesbian relationship before? Has your friend? Have you considered that you may be experiencing feelings of jealousy since she's got a boyfriend now and has less time for you?

Many women develop "girl crushes" when they have strong feelings for other women in a nonsexual way. These feelings develop when you have a strong initial attraction to some one's personality, sense of style or demeanor in an adoring way. It often takes you by surprise how much you think about them and look up to them, however, once the infatuation dwindles, usually you are able to see the person as a friend.

Girl crushes can be somewhat confusing until they pass. Feelings such as excitement, nervousness and jealousy are all very common. However, If your feelings don't subside and you think that you are actually romantically attracted to her, then perhaps there is something worth exploring here.

I suggest that you give it a little bit more time. Seeing that your friend is in a heterosexual relationship, I would be as certain about your feelings before you talk to her since she most likely might not feel the same way toward you. Good luck.

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fat-kat fat-kat 9 years
If you are willing to lose her as a friend is something to think about. Some people can't handle a situation like that. She my tell her boyfriend then he will want her to stop hanging with you because he will think something will happen or is happening. Believe me if she cares for him she will listen to him because she will not want to lose him. He will make her choose. If you aren't willing to lose her as a friend try to find a way of not being around as much due to the jealousy as well. Due things with your extra time to keep your mind off being in a relationship with your friend. You have feelings like this do to the fact she is sweet, kind and have a lot in common with you but remember she may not feel you in the same way. Remember THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
Lindsb Lindsb 9 years
Sugar has a lot of great points. I would, personally, wait it out. If your friend talks about boys all of the time and is really into this new guy, there is a great chance she's not interested in women. If that is the case, keeping your friendship seems like it should be more important. Although, I can understand how it would be hard to remain close friends if your feelings continue developing. Live one day at a time..try to ride it out :)
haze1nut haze1nut 9 years
LOL at the pic chosen for the entry. Honestly, figure out if it's just her or if you like all girls, let's say your friend likes you too, are you both ready to go into a lesbian relationship? will this be a fling? will it change things? are you a lesbian? you need to figure things out before you do anything ionnu, honestly if yall are really close friends and you can tell she won't freak out about it then maybe tell her. but if she's with a guy and doesn't seem to bat that direction, let it pass until you realize you really have to tell her. But yeah, like sugar says, give it a bit more time. maybe it'll pass
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