Skip Nav
Women
43 Bangin' (and Beautiful) Tattoos
Sex
The 29 Steamiest Movie Sex Scenes of All Time
Books
Get Your Dating Game in Shape With 18 Books by Bachelor Stars

Long-Distance Boyfriend Demanding Sex Tapes

Group Therapy: Long-Distance Boyfriend Wants Sex Tapes

This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

I see my long-distance boyfriend approximately once every 6-8 weeks.  He has always enjoyed photography and lately whenever we see each other, he likes video taping and photographing me naked.  I don't mind once in a while, but lately he wants it each time and doesn't ask my permission first.  When I recently told him to put the camera away, he became extremely angry and refused to speak to me.  I later told him to ask my permission first and not use the camera or video me as much.  He again became very angry.  He said that it enhances the experiences, and because he refuses to masturbate or watch porn when we are not together, this is all he has.

I think it's pretty weird that he won't masturbate when he is alone, and I think he can visualize us instead of referring to video tapes.  He basically called me selfish for not doing what he wants me to do, and he told me I am not contributing to our sex life (although I have never refused sex with him and miss not having it in his absence) because I do not get Brazilians anymore or make elaborate sexual plans.  I have also never orgasmed when we've had sex.  He blames me for this, and told me if he doesn't mind me not orgasming (although I want to) then I shouldn't mind him videotaping me. However that works.

We've been dating for nearly three years now, and I'm annoyed that he wants to play these games.  I just want a normal sex life.  He's a nice guy for the most part, but I think he's crossing the line.

Any advice?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community. Maybe we'll feature your content on TrèsSugar.


Source: Flickr User M i x y

Around The Web
Join The Conversation
youngforever youngforever 6 years
All the above advise is Good! Run! He has Issues! Run!
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 6 years
LOTS of warning bells! He sounds selfish, angry, and inconsiderate to your needs. Go find a guy who will knock your socks off in a good way!
Yesi-Jukebox Yesi-Jukebox 6 years
It's been 3 years too long. He doesn't respect you and you don't seem happy - dump him!
Choco-cat Choco-cat 6 years
i would agree with the majority - break up with this man, he is bad news.
EmilieLove EmilieLove 6 years
My advice? Pack up whatever footage and photos you can get your hands on, run, and don't look back.
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
*without
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
*without
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
Um, wow. Listen, my boyfriend and I only see each other once a year for two weeks (tops), so I can understand the built up sexual tension etc. We've been dating for 4 years now. When you get so little time to actually be together you've got to be more creative in the meantime. I'll admit even I can see the thrill of voyeurism.<b>However</b>, with that said, not once has he even REMOTELY suggested we do things like this, let alone with my consent! Or vice versa. You may be his girlfriend and he may be your boyfriend but that is still an absolute invasion of your privacy. The fact that he got ANGRY when you voiced your concerns is a huge red flag. I suggest talking it over with him; maybe he doesn't realize how ridiculous he's being, but if he gets angry AGAIN then leave his ass. Seriously. Wow.
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
Um, wow. Listen, my boyfriend and I only see each other once a year for two weeks (tops), so I can understand the built up sexual tension etc. We've been dating for 4 years now. When you get so little time to actually be together you've got to be more creative in the meantime. I'll admit even I can see the thrill of voyeurism. However, with that said, not once has he even REMOTELY suggested we do things like this, let alone with my consent! Or vice versa. You may be his girlfriend and he may be your boyfriend but that is still an absolute invasion of your privacy. The fact that he got ANGRY when you voiced your concerns is a huge red flag. I suggest talking it over with him; maybe he doesn't realize how ridiculous he's being, but if he gets angry AGAIN then leave his ass. Seriously. Wow.
medenginer medenginer 6 years
I think him be coming angry when you ask not to video tape or take photographs less speaks volumes in his actions. I would be concerned about everything becoming public without your knowledge and it would be such an invasion of privacy. You might not be able to change the past but you sure can protect your future.
CurleyQ CurleyQ 6 years
Any respectable woman would stay away from anything related to 4chan and any man who likes to partake of its stupidity. I agree with everyone else. There really is no need to think this over. Leave the creep and get as much as you can of the media. Long distance relationships suck anyway. :\
CurleyQ CurleyQ 6 years
Any respectable woman would stay away from anything related to 4chan and any man who likes to partake of its stupidity. I agree with everyone else. There really is no need to think this over. Leave the creep and get as much as you can of the media. Long distance relationships suck anyway. :\
sparklestar sparklestar 6 years
And you're still dating him, why? Helloooo... does nobody look at 4chan... :p
sparklestar sparklestar 6 years
And you're still dating him, why?Helloooo... does nobody look at 4chan... :p
GregS GregS 6 years
What all these fine ladies said, plus... Next time you see him, send him to the store or something and DELETE THOSE FILES! Just google "My ex girlfriend" and you'll see myexgf.com, ratemyexgf.com, youtube.com. I'd suspect if you don't you'll see the pics and movies on one of these sites. That just seems to be the type of guy he is.
GregS GregS 6 years
What all these fine ladies said, plus...Next time you see him, send him to the store or something and DELETE THOSE FILES!Just google "My ex girlfriend" and you'll see myexgf.com, ratemyexgf.com, youtube.com. I'd suspect if you don't you'll see the pics and movies on one of these sites. That just seems to be the type of guy he is.
cirrus1701 cirrus1701 6 years
Wasn't there a story of a teenager who made a sex video intended only for her boyfriend? It was uploaded and has now been seen all over the world. Run! Run away!
cirrus1701 cirrus1701 6 years
Wasn't there a story of a teenager who made a sex video intended only for her boyfriend? It was uploaded and has now been seen all over the world. Run! Run away!
kismekate kismekate 6 years
On top of all of this, thinking about it more... Is it possible he has video taped you guys without you knowing? He seems creepy enough to have done something like this.
kismekate kismekate 6 years
On top of all of this, thinking about it more...Is it possible he has video taped you guys without you knowing? He seems creepy enough to have done something like this.
franceslopez franceslopez 6 years
Girl, I'm no relationship expert, but if I were in your position, there'd be a Frances-shaped hole in the door the second he took out that camera.
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
You're obviously getting something out of this "relationship", or you wouldn't be in it. Ask yourself what that is and you will realize what a truly unsatisfying situation you are in.
Rwandawithlove Rwandawithlove 6 years
Like everyone said before you should leave him. I am not even thinking about sex but the control issues he has can manifest in different ways. I do not want you to be emotionally or physically abused. But before you do go to his house, infiltrate his computer, his phone, his DVDs and get every image of you naked. You may believe that he may never show these images of you but better safe than sorry. Good luck no matter what you decide to do!
What Does Anthony Weiner's New Sex Scandal Mean for Hillary Clinton's Campaign?
Benefits to Marrying Your High School Sweetheart
Questions to Ask Before a Breakup
Brutally Honest Comics About Love and Dating
Am I in Love?
Best Friend Tattoos
Sexy Olympic Athletes With Tattoos

POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.

From Our Partners
Latest Love
X