Skip Nav

Long-Distance Relationship Issues

"I Feel Like I'm Between a Rock and a Hard Place"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been dating a great guy for five years. We love each other, but now that I am living in another state until June he has decided he needs "space." He seems to think that it is totally normal for couples to break up and get back together. He said, "Well, in June we will get back together and be just as awesome as we ever were." He "needs time to make sure this is right." I get it, actually. Relationship-wise I've had a lot more experience, and he's the best friend I ever had.

I proposed an open relationship, but I think my self-esteem has gotten the better of me, and I want to renegotiate on said agreement. He is a wonderful person, and I really don't think sparks fly like this very often. Even on Skype we have an amazing time. He says he wants to have a few one-night stands or something. I half believe him, but the other part of me thinks this is a quarter-life crisis and he is just confused. It took him a long time to get used to being with another person.

Anyway, I am way too into him to really put my foot down, and quite honestly the thought of not talking to him is not even imaginable. He is truly the most fun and caring person I know. Anyway, he still wants to talk all the time and come visit and all that, which I really want to, to be honest. I just feel like blurring the lines on a strong and committed relationship at this point in the game is setting myself up for failure. I had the "sleeping with lots of people" phase a long time ago, and I never want to do that again. I am a relationship girl, and I chose him. But I do sort of feel like maybe him seeing other people would make us stronger and certainly improve our sex life, which is always a good thing (not that it's bad, spicing things up never hurt though).

So my dilemma is twofold: one, I am not sure he understands what he is saying (maybe the idea is more appealing than the actual act); and two, I can't really pull myself away from someone who is such a big part of my life. I do not want our Skype sessions to stop, and I don't want to date other people. Could I really be a bohemian and let him find himself, and trust that when he figures it out he'll choose me and will be able to be committed to only me?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Source: Thinkstock
Latest Love & Sex

Download our Halloween app!

Go to App Store
+