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Love Can Be So Blind

Dear Sugar
A close girlfriend is dating a guy who is seriously wrong for her. She hasn't been in a relationship for years and she is over the moon excited that she found someone regardless that all her friends are telling her to watch out for a jerk like him.

They seem to bring out the worst in each other and she is choosing to continually ignore all the red flags. Just last week we are all at a party together and they proceeded to get into a drunken argument in front of everyone. He said horrible things to her and made an embarrassing spectacle of themselves.

She was so out of it that she did nothing to stand up for herself. They left together and in the morning when I confronted her about his behavior, she blamed the alcohol and reassured me that everything was better than ever after he apologized for getting mad at her.

I have witnessed this type of behavior from him a handful of times and I am growing more and more concerned for my girlfriend. Is there anything else I can do besides voice my concern? Please help me pull a blind friend out of a jam. Being a Friend Fiona


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Dear Being a Friend Fiona
Let me first say you are already being a good friend by being so concerned. This sounds like a nightmare of a relationship, but the worst part is your friend's denial. Has the issue of their drinking been addressed? Something tells me she has been exposed to this type of a relationship before which is why she is inclined to defend her boyfriend and make excuses of his abusive behavior.

Your friend's protective reaction is most likely a result of her knowing deep down this relationship is wrong for her. When you chat, take a concerning approach and give her the information and tools she needs to make the right decision for herself.

You can talk until you are blue in the face and as much as you want the best for your gal pal, unfortunately, the choice is ultimately up to her. Bear with her and have faith that she will make the right decision by standing up for herself and realizing that this relationship is on a fast moving downward spiral. Hopefully, she can learn from this relationship and make better decisions for herself in the future.

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