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MIXING FRIENDSHIP WITH RESPONSIBILITY

Dear Sugar
Due to circumstances, I was forced to move out of my parent's home. I am fine with it considering that I'm 21 now and it's probably time for me to move out and live on my own. It was just really nice to live rent free.

The problem is that I've rented a two bedroom apartment and my best friend assumed that the second room was for her - but it's not. It's really for my tanning bed.

I love my friend but her past with other roommates isn't so hot. Apparently she doesn't pay her rent on time or in full - ever. She also likes meeting men on online dating websites and inviting them over. I don't think I am comfortable with that. I really don't want to risk these things ruining our friendship.

Currently, she lives with a relative and things are good for her there. How can I work this out? I don't want her to feel unwanted. Should I just let her move in? But if I do, how do I approach her about paying bills? Ugh! Choice To Make Joice

Dear Choice To Make Joice
It sounds like living with your friend would make you way too anxious. If you don't need the money, then it's not worth it.

If she's your best friend, then she'll understand that you want to live alone. Trust me, it's better to have a short conversation now about it then trying to figure out how to kick her and her stuff out when the lease is up. By year's end your friendship is going to suffer.

Just tell her that you are really excited about living alone for the first time and that you are sorry if she thought she was moving in, but that you have no intentions of having a roommate. She won't be too upset once she sees how happy you are. I understand how hard it can be to say 'no' to someone that you love, but if you don't you'll regret it.

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Join The Conversation
nicachica nicachica 9 years
I'm with everyone here. DO NOT ROOM WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND! My best friend and i have tried it and thankfully, i moved out and back in with my mom before things got out of hand. It's fun at first because you get to go out together, cook dinner, have parties and all that fun stuff, but when you start to mix finances in the mix, it sucks. It was my best friend's house and she always felt uncomfortable asking me for rent money (i always gave it to her on time) or telling me how much utilities were. She felt she undercharged me and that took a toll on her financially and i felt overcharged because i wasn't making enough money to live on my own. So it just wasn't good for us and we both recognized it. Remember: Money + Friends = DISASTER But luckily, she's still my best girl. :) Moving out was the best decision.
medicgirl medicgirl 9 years
Roomates and best friends DO NOT MIX...EVER!!
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 9 years
Honey, DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN or you might end up on one of Nancy Grace's missing young women's shows. Meeting random men and inviting them over? Sounds responsible. Also, NEVER live with someone who doesn't pay rent in full and on time (with few exceptions, i.e. cat needed $1300 surgery that was not budgeted for, lost job). Also, lay of the tanning. It causes skin cancer and wrinkles.
My-Opinion My-Opinion 9 years
I agree with vmruby~ have a talk with her., just tell her you are looking for a roommate but you're gonna be extra cautious and pay the $10.00 for a background check (she'll believe ya) to make sure the person has good standing credit because you don't want yours messed up just because someone can't or won't pay their part.....just check out her reaction after you say that....go from there.
surfergirl surfergirl 9 years
wow, your going from not paying rent to renting 2 bedrooms? that is crazy! where do you live, in SF, I could never afford that!
vmruby vmruby 9 years
do not let her move in.it may ruin your friendship with her and besides that you are asking for trouble judging by her past actions. why not just tell her your true feelings. good luck!
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