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Dear Sugar
I have been best friends with my neighbor Steve ever since I can remember. Suddenly, out of the blue, he started acting really strange around me. I could swear that he’s flirting with me and I feel really weird about it. Now I don’t know how to act around him. Do you think talking to him about how I only love him as a friend will make things better or worse? I just want things to go back to the way they’ve always been between us. Missing My Buddy Missy

To see DEARSUGAR’s answer

Dear Missing My Buddy Missy
Every time you think that a man and a woman can be platonic friends, one of them gets a crush and ruins everything. Think about When Harry Met Sally .

I am sorry that your best bud has to be your first lesson on this subject. It can be very upsetting and confusing to find out that one the person who you thought was interested in your well being really has an ulterior motive.

It’s unfortunate when only one person finds the other attractive in “that way.” It would be ideal if it worked out so that everyone got to date/marry their best friend of the opposite sex - but life doesn’t usually work out like that and someone always gets hurt. Here’s my advice.

If you’ve been confiding in him about your love interests – stop. He could be feeling territorial. If he’s heard you talk about feeling interested in dating someone else, then maybe it’s making him want what he can’t have. Men like competition.

I would try my best just to act normal and let it go until it really becomes a problem or he confronts you. Don’t embarrass him and bring it up because maybe it will pass. Then you will have wished you never addressed it head on. When you see him next, treat him like you would any other day.

Hopefully he’ll understand that you always have and always will just seem him as a best bud.

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