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Mad at My Absent Boyfriend

"Am I Right to Be Upset With My Absent Boyfriend?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Lately I have been getting really upset with my boyfriend. It's more of an internal sadness that makes me outwardly pull away. We have been together for around seven months, and things were fantastic at first: hearts fluttering with every kiss, not being able to stop thinking of him, the anticipation of the next time we would see each other. I fell hard for him, but now little things are getting me very upset and I want to know if it's justified or how I can feel better.

A few months into the relationship, he mentioned something about me meeting his family, and he'd already met mine around the first few dates. He said he did not want things to go for so long without me meeting his family, then set a date for that to happen — and that date has long since passed. When I would bring up the subject, he would go off on a long, winded explaination of why it couldn't happen then. At one time, he really insulted me by saying that his family would not like me based on how I look. Needless to say, I was very upset then, and even more so later when I found out that his family did not even know about me. When he talked to them, he explained all the times we went out as "hanging out with a group of friends," or worse yet, "hanging out with (insert guy names that rhyme with mine)."

His family members have come to town and there has been no attempt to set up a meeting. Through an unfortunate car accident, his family now knows that I exist, so now they mention wanting to meet me, but my boyfriend keeps putting it off, which stirs up all the hurt again. With the recent holidays also came our birthdays, which are only a few weeks apart, and I spent so much time thinking of what to get him as a gift. I ended up buying him movies that he loved and CDs from bands that he listens to all the time. It was truly from the heart and so much time went into picking everything out. When my birthday came around, though, I got a novelty cup with a $9 price tag. I thanked him for it and cried later on.

I really have not been able to see him much. He did come over to my house at Christmastime to be with my family, but other than that, it really has not been just the two of us for a very long time. I was looking forward to a midnight kiss on New Year's Eve, especially since I have never had gotten one. All day he hinted at the fact that he wanted to see his friend that night, even saying that if he was invited to a party that may or may not happen that night, he would go. We went to my house for a few hours to watch a movie he'd wanted to see, then he left to go ring in the new year with his friend. Now he is spending the entire New Year's Day with his friend and wants to watch TV at my house again tonight. I feel like he is going out and having fun and is just using me for the TV. Am I getting upset for no reason?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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