My husband and I have been married for four years and I am noticing a gradual change in our relationship. I feel like he is taking less and less interest in me and our marriage. We have been fighting more and I am always the one to step up to the plate and smooth things over. I am the kind of person who can't go to bed angry, where as my husband can hold a grudge just to prove a point.
I am newly pregnant and I am really scared. I am honestly beginning to feel a little bit trapped in my relationship. I want to be in a happy marriage again but I'm at a loss on how to improve our relationship. I want my baby to be brought up in a loving and happy home. Do you have any suggestions for me? Saddened Samantha
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Dear Saddened Samantha
It sounds like you and your husband are having trouble communicating with each other. Is he aware that you are feeling his distance? After you smooth things over, are you still feeling angry inside? Maybe you don't realize it, but could you be holding a grudge as well? Getting through the tough times requires both partners in the relationship to be dedicated to making it work.
Having open lines of communication with your partner is key to making your relationship work. When you fight with your husband, try talking it out before dismissing it and sweeping it under the rug. This way your feelings don't snowball and then lead you to explode or feel trapped. Getting your feelings out should make you both feel better. Tell your husband you love him and you are willing to do anything to have your happy marriage back.
If communicating on your own isn't helping, marriage counseling is always an option. Having an outside mediator sometimes helps to identify where your communication glitches are. Since you are newly pregnant, your problems probably seem magnified. You must try your best to work on them now so that you are a team again when the baby arrives. More than ever your home needs to be a loving, caring, and safe environment.
I hope you and your husband can work out your differences. If not, remember, you are never trapped in an unhappy marriage; there are always options and people you can talk to if you want to get out. Congratulations on your pregnancy.