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Masturbating in Public

Très Q +A: What's the Deal With Pleasing Yourself in Public?

This question comes from the TrèsSugar Q+A group.

Why doesn’t anyone take public masturbation seriously? Today was one of those great days when you just wanna enjoy a good movie and have lunch with a friend. But in my case it was a little different. I got to see the good movie, then my boyfriend and I decided to grab something to eat, he was busy on his cell phone (as always) and I was looking around (as always) and all over sudden I noticed that a man across from us was masturbating in the food court.

Let me remind everyone that this is happening at 4:45pm on a Friday afternoon, we are surrounded by all kinds of people (including children) and this dirty piece of crap is just starring at the girl next to him, at me at this other young girl and just going at it. I waited till my boyfriend got off the phone to tell him, I told him I wanted to look for a security guard which we found and he looked more afraid than I was to approach the perv, as soon as the guy saw him move close to him he grab his bag placed it in front of him and walked away. OOOOOOOOOOH what the *%^$ no one did anything everyone was looking at me as if I was making this up and even my boyfriend had the balls to tell me that there is nothing that I could do.

Well I think we have the power to do something, how about if we all start paying more attention to our surroundings, our children, teens and our own daily lives and less f-ing attention to our cell phones, and famous or stupid shows and actually care about what is going on in front of us. We all deserve to be respected and safe no matter where we decide to go, but we can't just assume it magically happens we need to help each other. As someone who loves this fabulous country of ours we need to help our society and pay attention to what the f goes on around us.

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lilkimbo lilkimbo 6 years
I personally find both equally disgusting and would take the same action in both cases (if there's a police officer/security guard nearby, alert them, if I felt safe, say something to the individual/couple, if not, just remove myself from the situation). However, in a general sense, you are right, steph, and I find it interesting, as well.
stephley stephley 6 years
I’m not in favor of public masturbators but I do find it interesting that they cause such anger & disgust while people either ignore couples doing it in a public places, or are willing to discuss where they’ve done it on sites like Tres. You can be arrested for doing it alone or with someone.
inlove23 inlove23 6 years
While I haven't seen public masturbation I was at a very family oriented beach and saw a teen couple lying almost on top of eachother, stroking their partners genitals in broad daylight, and heavily making out. They weren't even under a blanket or towel! It reminds me of this because even though everyone was staring and gawking (with kids around nonetheless) no one told them to stop. One mom even stopped in her tracks to stare at them, but like I said no one told them to knock it off. Looking back I wish I would have had the courage to say something to a lifeguard.
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 6 years
I've lived in Los Angeles my entire life and I have never seen someone masturbating in public. If they were in their car, a restroom stall, etc I wouldn't say anything but if they were out in the open like on a subway I would say something.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 6 years
And Steph I've seen couples having sex in public but only late at night so I didn't care. If I saw them in the day I'd probably walk by and crack some stupid joke about it, just to let them know I could see them but wasn't going to call the cops about it.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 6 years
I live in a medium city and I've never seen it either, but a friend of mine did once. He was walking in the park along the top of this ridge and he looked down and dude is going at it, sitting on a log back in the woods. So he goes down there and said something like, "I saw what you were doing you pervo." Some other guy was riding by at the time and he started laughing and said he saw it too. If I was in public I think I'd do something like that, walk up to him and say it loud enough everyone could hear. Out in the woods I might not, for safety. A few weeks back, I was between classes and had killer cramps so I went out to my car and laid the seat back and unzipped my pants and was rubbing my belly. This woman and her kid went to get in the next car, so instinctively sat up and pulled my shirt down over my zipper She gave me this awful dirty look, I didn't know why at the time, but I bet she thought I was masturbating.
missy1632 missy1632 6 years
Yuk!!! I don't think it is harmless in any way, postmodern... it's inappropriate to the max. And why should anyone (child, female, male, elderly person, ANYONE) be made to feel uncomfortable just because some perv can't wait till he gets home to pleasure himself. It certainly shouldn't be condoned in any way. I have been harassed on public transport, on more than one occasion (ie: men rubbing up against me and one man touching my vagina through my school dress)... and I wouldn't be surprised if the perpetrators started off as public masturbators. These incidents have affected me in a bad way- still now, over 10 years later. Friends of mine who have seen flashers have also been negatively affected... why should anyone be exposed to that?!
LovelyLiLKatie LovelyLiLKatie 6 years
I've witnessed this 4 times and lived in NYC my whole life 1) a guy standing in front of his window 2) dude in a car 3) I was 12 and got into an elevator with this guy who start jacking off and suggested i touch it (fucking scary as hell) screamed my head off until the elevator stopped and i ran out 4) homeless dude on a train. I'm 22 so I think it's pretty common.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
Almost everyone I know who has lived in a city has witnessed Public Pleasure Man. I think it's pretty gross and creepy, but it's generally harmless. I wish they would be more discrete, but what can ya do? The guys who do it on the bus are the grossest. Way too closed quarters!
genesisrocks genesisrocks 6 years
I live in a big city too, Steph and I've never seen it either. That's pretty gross for people who do see that happen :SICK:
stephley stephley 6 years
Even if they're being discrete?
stephley stephley 6 years
Just curious: should we call the police if we spot a couple having sex in a public place?
chillchic chillchic 6 years
In my 21 years of living in or just outside of a very large city, I've never seen that thank god. But I'm sure, based on my history with street-harassers, that I would have called the cops (not just a security guard) and got him arrested. No matter what anyvody says, you have a right to walk down the street and feel safe and to not be violated by perverts. Just becasue he his not touching you doesnt make it right. Same with peeping toms. It's all terrible.
Woop Woop 6 years
Personally, if I ever encountered someone doing this, I'd run and tell but I'm really not going to make it a point to pay "less f-ing attention to" my own business and what I need to do so I can look out for guys jacking off... in public places. :howyoudoin:
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
that = than. i cannot type today!
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
i've seen it before. i walked away and got on with my life. (both times were in deserted parking lots). reporting it would have gotten me nowhere, since i didn't get a good look at him, and he would have finished by the time the cops got there anyway. i think i scared him more that it bothered me.
kea718 kea718 6 years
I was on the Metro Mover (public transportation in Miami, kind of like a little above-ground subway) and the man next to me was stairing at a couple and masturbating. I was SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM and look his direction (I was just looking around... not trying to look at his penis or anything) and he had his penis out in his hand.... EWWWW!!! I jumped up and ran to the other side of the Mover but was in such shock I couldn't really explain what happened... I was completly speechles. Today I was reading the local newspaper (it's a small little weekly paper for a small lttle island in Miami) and read about a man who was exposing himself to people. He was arrested and he's now in jail. So as far as the comments that people aren't doing anything about that, some people are. It's illegal and if you go to the police they should arrest the person.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 6 years
Maybe you're just lucky, steph. I've encountered three in the past three years of living in a big city, each time on public transportation. Chloe, I didn't mean to imply that it's limited to big cities, just that it happens in them. My statement didn't address small towns either way.
chloe-bella chloe-bella 6 years
^^It's not just limited to big cities. I grew up in a small town and experienced this with my friend's next door neighbor. Any time we were out on her parents' deck during the summer, he would sit out in a lawn chair and watch us. It was so creepy. My friend's parents called the police and he was prosecuted and convicted of a sex offense. So yeah, this actually happens a lot, but the thing is, it's not always totally noticeable.
stephley stephley 6 years
I’ve lived/worked for years in three major U.S. cities – rode subways & buses etc. - and never encountered a public masturbator. Maybe I'm a buzzkill. :ponder:
lilkimbo lilkimbo 6 years
Cats, I was just about to link to hollaback dc! http://hollabackdc.wordpress.com/ Sadly, public masturbation does happen somewhat often. And, as Cats pointed out, it's just one form of street harassment/inappropriate behavior that women who live in cities witness daily. (Not that we witness public masturbation daily, but that we witness and/or are victims of inappropriate behavior almost daily.)
theCatsPajamas theCatsPajamas 6 years
in cities, it's hard to find a woman who hasn't witnessed some kind of inappropriate behavior. lewd behavior is illegal and the security guard should have done something about it. it's not fair, makes us feel powerless, and is becoming more and more common. check out hollaback -- a site that posts pictures of people who have acted inappropriately. women send in pics using their cell phones. it's just a small way that we can all take back our power. http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/
theCatsPajamas theCatsPajamas 6 years
in cities, it's hard to find a woman who hasn't witnessed some kind of inappropriate behavior. lewd behavior is illegal and the security guard should have done something about it. it's not fair, makes us feel powerless, and is becoming more and more common.check out hollaback -- a site that posts pictures of people who have acted inappropriately. women send in pics using their cell phones. it's just a small way that we can all take back our power.http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/
kismekate kismekate 6 years
Rjs baby girl, sadly...this actually does happen a lot. I work at a law firm and some of our topic clients are public masturbators. The scary thing is that a lot of them are repeat offenders. It has probably happened around you, you just haven't noticed. Also, there is something you can do. Call the police. Since the security guard was of no help, you call the cops. A lot of the cases we get are of men in their cars in parking lots. Write down license plates. Call the cops. It will take one less perv off the streets.
kismekate kismekate 6 years
Rjs baby girl, sadly...this actually does happen a lot. I work at a law firm and some of our topic clients are public masturbators. The scary thing is that a lot of them are repeat offenders. It has probably happened around you, you just haven't noticed. Also, there is something you can do. Call the police. Since the security guard was of no help, you call the cops. A lot of the cases we get are of men in their cars in parking lots. Write down license plates. Call the cops. It will take one less perv off the streets.
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