I'm 27 years old and I'm totally confused about some sexual feelings I've been having lately. Let me preface this by saying when I was about eight years old, I experimented with other girls; kissing, groping, you get the point. I thought we were just playing at the time, but now I think that it is related to what I am about to say...I love lesbian porn.
I really can't help myself and I think it's the most interesting thing I've ever seen. When I make love to a man, I think of the women doing those acts with me and it totally stimulates me. I have even gone so far as to kick the guy I am with out of the room to handle business with the image myself.
When the love making is over, the thoughts seem wrong and nasty to me and I quickly block it out of my head. What's happening to me? I'm not gay, I don’t want a relationship with a woman, but I feel these desires in me just won't stop until I hook up with a woman. Please help me figure this thing out. Wondering Wylie
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Dear Wondering Whylie
Being unclear about your sexuality can be very overwhelming, but you are not alone. Many men and women experiment to figure out what sexual orientation is right for them, and we are so very fortunate to live in a time where this is acceptable.
Different people have different turn-ons, and just because lesbian porn gets you aroused, doesnt mean that you must classify yourself as a lesbian. It could mean you are bi-sexual or are interested in sexual experimentation. What is it that makes you feel nasty after viewing lesbian pornography? Is homosexuality shunned in your family or community?
Since you are thinking about women while you are being intimate with men, and since your mind won't rest until you have hooked up with a girl, by all means go for it. Try not to get too caught up in personal labels and do whatever makes you feel good. Good luck.