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Missing Ex Boyfriend

"In a Relationship but Missing My Ex"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'm in a sticky situation: I have been dating my current boyfriend long distance for about a year and am planning on moving in with him. I found a job in the city I am in and wish we could try long distance for a little while longer. My boyfriend refuses. I'm hesitant about moving to be with him and not having a job. I have also been thinking about my ex a lot lately. I was with him for four years and things ended very badly and I ended up dating my current boyfriend immediately after. I haven't been able to sleep lately and have tried drinking at night to make me fall asleep easier. I care about my boyfriend, but I don't know if he is the one and don't know if moving is a good idea and part of me wants to contact my ex, just so I can speak to him.

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steph1234 steph1234 4 years
well, first of all, he's just your boyfriend, not your husband or even fiance....if you don't want to move, don't. Noone can make's your choice. If he refuses to stick with you...then let him go....You should not move without a job...because then you're at your boyfriend's mercy basically. you will be completely dependent upon him. Do you really want that? Second, it's very easy to remember the good about your ex...and how you may have it better with him....but, that's foolish thinking, there was some reason you broke up to begin with...remember that reason. Last, why does it have to be one or the about neither? and focus on your career and creating a life that you want....and the guys will come..but don't put all your focus and energy into the 'i must have a boyfriend' mentality. That way of thinking is futile.......oh and Good luck!
creativedesign creativedesign 4 years
You are not over your ex. Be honest with your current boyfriend and break up with him. Don't lie to your boyfriend and tell him you want to move in and not be long distance when this is not the truth. I promise that the truth feels better than being lied to. If you current boyfriend loves you, he will understand and be less hurt by your honesty.
chibros chibros 4 years
just that you don't want to be jobless living with him. NB: Learn from the past to live the future AND not letting the past to affect the future.
chibros chibros 4 years
It seems that the long distance or moving is not the problem, just that you want to be jobless living with him. Talk to him if there is any offer in his city, then you can move in. if not, it is not wise to reject a job offer just to move in and remain jobless. As for your ex, You didn't get over your ex and the relationship before starting dating another guy (using him as a rebound), now things (anger, grudges) has diluted and you've started missing him. So now you want to go back to dig up the past and start playing around it or moving on? Decide for yourself.
kmlvr9 kmlvr9 4 years
If you are thinking about your ex, then you arent really happy deep down with your present boyfriend. I would not move to be with him. You need to try and figure out why you are still having thoughts about your ex. Stay where you are at the present time. Also, I suggest you read Why Men Love Bitches". Im single and have learned alot from this book. It doesnt mean to act like a bitch, but you shouldnt bend over backwards to keep a man happy. You must put yourself first in every way. Good Luck....
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 4 years
Do not commit to someone you feel this way with. It would be cruel to you both.
Aquadave Aquadave 4 years
A yr is time to make a decision, but in a long distant relationship it's not much time at all. Has he thought about moving to you? If it's not what you want and you want more time then take it and he needs to understand of how big a life changing move it is for you.
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