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Mom and Dad - I'm Gay

Mom and Dad - I'm Gay

Dear Sugar
I'm a 20 year old guy still living with my parents and I have a secret that they don't know about. That secret is that I'm gay. All my friends know about it. I've known I was gay and have been seeing men since I was about 16. This whole time my parents haven't caught on. They aren't the most accepting people, and they're pretty closed-minded about some things. I don't go through great lengths to hide my sexuality. I mean I dye my hair blond, dress in designer clothing, have pictures of half naked male models up in my room and they are still oblivious. I know that they wouldn't take it well if I flat out told them, but I feel like I can't lie to them about it anymore. Do you think they already know and they're just in denial? What should I do? Closet Boy

Dear Closet Boy
Honesty is the best policy. Have you tried testing the waters with them? That would be the passive aggressive thing to do, but you could make a comment about gays, or tell a gay joke and see how they react. Eventually you are going to feel awful (more than now) if you keep hiding who you are to your parents. They have loved you for 20 years and most likely they will never stop - even when you tell them that you are gay. Expect them to be shocked that their expectations for a straight wedding and family life will be different for you, but if you speak from your heart, openly and truthfully, they will appreciate your candor. Believe me; they have noticed the hair, the posters and the absence of girlfriends. Give them some credit, they weren't born yesterday. I am sure they will be relieved the truth is finally out there. This takes courage and I wish you luck. You are who you are - be proud of that!

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