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Morning After Demons

Dear Sugar
I am suffering from morning after demons ... except that the morning was 3 days ago. I know I don't have a drinking problem but when I drink I end up acting in a way that fills me with guilt for several days to follow. I love my boyfriend and he treats me wonderfully - and when I drink I lash out at him and sometimes even other people as well. When this happens I feel horrible about it. I say my apologies the next day... but I scare myself because of this behavior. It's not like I get violent, but I do become very defensive and I'll say hurtful things. I hate that I am this way and am hoping that you can give me some advice on how to know when to keep my mouth shut. Guilty in Gaston

Dear Guilty In Gaston
What do you mean you don't have a drinking problem? Are you in some kind of denial? What's it gonna take for you to sober up? This doesn't sound like new behavior. Lay off the sauce and get yourself into therapy. You've obviously got a lot of pent up anger if you act like Shannon Dougherty every time you hit a bar. Wake up and smell the Patron.

I'll bet your friends and family are sick of your apologies and your own head's got to be tired from its constant downward spiraling. Aren't you spent yet from trying to retrace everything you've said and done when you were snockered? I hope you realize that your friends aren't being 100% honest with you. If they rehash every gory detail from the night before when you did your best "Girls Gone Wild" imitation, it's only going to make you further depressed. Frankly, it's torture for them and you are going to ruin the friendships that took years to build. The first step is admitting that you have a problem. Once you do that others will be able to help you.

If you think I'm being way harsh, then try this - go out one night with your boyfriend and do a little experiment. Have a drink and see how you feel. Wait 20 minutes and have another. Keep this up until you get to the point where you feel yourself losing control (or he sees you losing control). You know the symptoms; slurring, being rude, belligerent, loud etc... Then you'll have your drinking limit. I would stop 2 drinks before that if you still think you can handle it. Cheers.

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