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Moving to Be Closer to Long-Distance Boyfriend

Group Therapy: Should I Move For the Guy I'm Dating?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and immediately after started dating a new guy long distance. It's been almost six months now and he wants me to move across the country and live with him. We've barely spent much time in the same city and do most of our talking on Skype. 

Some days I think I love him (neither of us has said the L word yet) and could see us getting married. Other days I think he still seems a bit immature (he's actually 7 years older than me), and I think our cultures are really different (he's from the Midwest, I grew up all over the world). 

I'm in a catch-22 because if I want this relationship to go further, I have to leave to be with him, but that's impulsive; on the other hand, if I want to take things slowly, we will be stuck talking on Skype forever, and neither of us want that. There's a possibility this could become something serious, but right now I'm not sure. We also both got into the relationship pretty soon after breaking up with our mutual exes.

What should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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wolfpackgal wolfpackgal 4 years
Why do you have to move for him for the relationship to progress? 6 months is not long at all... why can't you visit each other? You don't even know you love him, yet you're willing to give up your entire life for him? Put yourself first; not this relationship. It can move forward without you moving there, and don't let him tell you otherwise. If your relationship is meant to work out, it will, no matter the distance.
jenjen82 jenjen82 4 years
I see so many red flags!! Can he move to your city? Would he even be willing? If not then think about that..i think you would be incredibly stupid to just move. Instead go visit for as long as you can, a week or 2 at least. Try to get a realistic idea of what it would be like to live with him. Get everything out on the table. Any questions or concerns, This is not the time to have a fairy tale like visit that does not answer any questions you may have before you move across the country.
jenjen82 jenjen82 4 years
I see so many red flags!! Can he move to your city? Would he even be willing? If not then think about that.. i think you would be incredibly stupid to just move. Instead go visit for as long as you can, a week or 2 at least. Try to get a realistic idea of what it would be like to live with him. Get everything out on the table. Any questions or concerns, This is not the time to have a fairy tale like visit that does not answer any questions you may have before you move across the country.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 4 years
If you're not sure, don't go. Would you be happy moving to where he lives and staying there even if you two broke up? If the answer is no then it's probably not a good idea to uproot your life for a guy you don't even know if you're in love with. Have you gone for a visit? That would be a good idea to get more of an idea if you would want to live there. I think you probably need to spend more time together and get to know each other more before you make this huge life change.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 4 years
If you're not sure, don't go. Would you be happy moving to where he lives and staying there even if you two broke up? If the answer is no then it's probably not a good idea to uproot your life for a guy you don't even know if you're in love with. Have you gone for a visit? That would be a good idea to get more of an idea if you would want to live there. I think you probably need to spend more time together and get to know each other more before you make this huge life change.
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