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My BF Told His Ex He Doesn't Want to Marry Me

Group Therapy: My BF Told His Ex He Doesn't Want to Marry Me

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I live together and have been dating for over three years. Last night, he was out and I had to use our computer. He left his e-mail open and I saw a chat message with his ex from about a month ago. I try not to be nosy or snoop around, but it was right there already and I couldn't help myself. In the message, he was telling her how he does not want to get married to me because he can't imagine being with one person for the rest of his life. Well, this is news to me since he tells me of course we will be together for the rest of our lives and has hinted about wanting to marry and even very recently went so far as saying he wants kids with me.

When we first starting getting serious, I made it clear I wanted to get married one day and that I need stability because I have a young daughter (whom he loves very much). I was honest and upfront about what I wanted and he was on board. He also told her I got him nothing for his birthday, even though I got him a gift worth over $100 that I knew he wanted and made a specialized custom cake and to make it even worse, he said he definitely does not want kids and just because he's with me and plans to be for a while, doesn't mean he isn't "looking."

I'm shocked. I was actually expecting a proposal this Christmas. I couldn't confront him last night because I knew I shouldn't have looked to begin with, but I know I have to tell him. All I did last night was ask him the last time he spoke to her and he said "in like forever," which I assume is way longer than only a month ago when the conversation was dated. Do I call him on it? Do I just tell him I know we're not on the same page and break up? I'm mad about the lies, I'm mad he's told her these things and I'm so sad this is how he really feels. I thought I had found the One. HELP!

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