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My Best Friend's Ex Is Hitting on Me

"Do I Tell My Best Friend That Her Ex Is Hitting on Me?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So my best friend's bf texted me saying he wants to win her back. They went out for a year and had a terrible breakup. She's even had about three pregnancy scares. I know they were in love and he even admits he still loves her, which is why he came to me. So as we were making a plan on how to get her back he started dropping hints, saying stuff like "What would happen if me and you did it?" He also said I was cute and he always thought I was cute. Then he honestly wanted to know if I would ever have sex with him. But yet he's in love with my best friend. He still wants to go through with our plan, but what should I do? Do I tell her? I want them to be happy but don't want her to be with someone who would try to sleep with her best friend.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
chibros chibros 3 years
If you want to help your friend, help to protect her and not to put her in trouble again. If they actually get back together, not even you or your friend is safe. He'll be dating your friend and always try hard to have sex with you as well. At the end you notice you're just creating problems for you and your friend. Tell her the truth and cut off contact with the guy. He doesn't think with his brain, he thinks with his dick. Another evidence is the pregnancy scares, he actually doesn't care about her and her well being. Though its somehow the girls fault too..
testadura67 testadura67 3 years
I can't even believe this is a question. This guy clearly has no regard or respect for you or your friend. Sounds to me like you're just enjoying the drama. Be a good friend and don't help him get back with her, and leave him alone yourself. Save yourself the headache, and don't risk your friendship.
PeachesnCreme PeachesnCreme 3 years
I agree with the comments below...why go any further with this if you know hes a sleaze? You want your friend to be happy, so find a good man who actually loves her. Because she won't be if they end up back together. Regardless of what this guy says, if he can't even keep himself in check when planning to win her back, I doubt very much that he truly loves her. Tell your friend, ditch this d-bag and be happy just knowing you didn't let that crap ruin your lives and friendship.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 3 years
Yeah this guy is a dirty so and so. Of course neither of you should get involved with him. But what worries me way more here is those THREE pregnancy scares. One is a mistake, but three?? Your friend needs to get on birth control now. That's how you really can help her. Set up a doc's appointment and buy her a box of Trojans.
steph1234 steph1234 3 years
Why would you help him get her back if you know he is doing this? Why wouldn't he just try to get her back on his own? This whole thing sounds a little suspicious to me. Sounds like you like this attention from him. Forget the plan, forget him, and tell him to leave you and her alone. Your first and foremost obligation is NOT to help this guy, because it's obvious he only has his own interest at heart and not yours and certainly not hers! Your obligation is to your best friend. Tell her what's going on before he starts talking to her again.
Spinsterlicious Spinsterlicious 3 years
I would tell her because she should know what a jerk he is...then I'd be prepared to kiss our friendship goodbye, because sometimes women don't want to know. I wouldn't enable him, though, by keeping quiet. Http://www.TheSpinsterliciousLife.com
GTCB GTCB 3 years
Hahahaha... this guy is thinking with his member. He's trying to keep his options open in case the, ahem, "plan", doesn't work. Does this sound like it is going to work? Do you want your best friend getting back with this guy? Tell him to get lost and leave you both alone.
GuitarGal GuitarGal 3 years
How valuable is this friendship to you? Grab a bottle of wine and spend some time talking with your best friend--let her know everything that's been happening because she deserves to know. If she chooses to get back together with this guy, it's up to her, but the last thing you want is for this guy to have any reason to turn on you and make you her enemy. Guys like this can sometimes be dangerous--he could be purposefully trying to break off strong friendships that your best friend has so that she runs back to him. This may seem far-fetched but you'd be surprised (my sister has dated a guy who sounds a lot like this one). Good luck!
kurniakasih kurniakasih 3 years
Ewww! That guy is such a jerk-off, so he's trying to win your best friend back but then propositioned you for sex, that's just...wrong and horrible. If that were my gf, I'd tell her the truth and yes, I'll have the texts/proofs too (if he's texted you and such). Let her decide what she wants to do next.
Pazuzu Pazuzu 3 years
Don't try to get them back together, if he wants her back its on him. Don't interfere with others relationships. Has your friend expressed any interest in getting back with him? You should tell her what he asked you, hes not ready for a mature relationship, he hasn't changed. If you want her happy you wont push this relationship on her, you'll tell her to steer clear and tell her what he said.
missmaryb missmaryb 3 years
Yes, tell her. He's a scumbag and you wouldn't want to put your friend back together with him. Ew.
omfg7891 omfg7891 3 years
Definitely tell her, this guys sounds like a creep. He claims to want her back but all he's doing is fantasising about her friend? I know she'll be upset to hear it, but it sounds like she'll end up even more upset in a relationship with someone like him.
henna-red henna-red 3 years
Yes. If you want her to be happy, you don't try to get her back together with some crappy jackass who's looking to sleep with her best friend. Protect your friend, tell her the truth. It's important.
Mandana85 Mandana85 3 years
there is no dilemma in this. you want your best friend to be happy. are YOU going to be happy with someone like that? No, No one will. I think you know what you should do.
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