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My Boyfriend Treats Me Like a Booty Call

Group Therapy: Boyfriend Treats Me Like a Booty Call

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend treats me as if I'm a booty call. I have brought it up to his attention, and even tried to withhold sex only to have him say we should stop seeing each other!  

We recently got back together and it appears as if he is slowly slipping into his old booty-call ways. We have been together over two years, we are both in our late 20s — should I give up now, or try and work this out?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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yiam yiam 5 years
he's a puttz and a schmuck. with the infantile iq of about the size of his penis and most likely has his bedside stash of porn to amuse himself into oldage, alone and single. dump him sweety!
soulsearcher83 soulsearcher83 5 years
What is there to work out? Do you want to waste another 2 years on this guy? Because I guarantee in two years you will be back on here asking if you can work it out with him. Ditch the loser now.
chibros chibros 5 years
A fool at two year relationship is a fool forever. You are permanent booty call, if you withhold sex, he will go for temporal booty call, and that will hurt you more. (Bad) He has dumped you, you played the fool by accepting things and getting along again. (Good and smart) Now you're with him, break every attachment, both emotional and physical, while answering the booty calls, regain strength and stamina, prepare yourself to dump him. Give him a memorable blow, dump him, go away and NEVER look back, even if he promise you the world. you're the winner and that's the only way you will feel better. (great and wisest)
chibros chibros 5 years
A fool at two year relationship is a fool forever.You are permanent booty call, if you withhold sex, he will go for temporal booty call, and that will hurt you more. (Bad)He has dumped you, you played the fool by accepting things and getting along again. (Good and smart)Now you're with him, break every attachment, both emotional and physical, while answering the booty calls, regain strength and stamina, prepare yourself to dump him. Give him a memorable blow, dump him, go away and NEVER look back, even if he promise you the world. you're the winner and that's the only way you will feel better. (great and wisest)
somekindofmagic somekindofmagic 5 years
Time to give up. It's two years in? his behavior is set in stone now and I don't think you're the one for him...but there is someone out there who is perfect for you. But you won't find him if you stick around with this guy, sweetie.
somekindofmagic somekindofmagic 5 years
Time to give up.It's two years in? his behavior is set in stone now and I don't think you're the one for him...but there is someone out there who is perfect for you. But you won't find him if you stick around with this guy, sweetie.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
Yes... I agree w/ everyone who says the relationship isn't worth your time. If you dump him and he realizes what a dickface he's been and he wants to work things out with you, that may be something you could discuss in the future... but for now, you're better off not wasting your time. If he's been willing to keep you around this long, you're probably great in bed. Find someone who values who you are as a person to share your talents with.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
Yes... I agree w/ everyone who says the relationship isn't worth your time. If you dump him and he realizes what a dickface he's been and he wants to work things out with you, that may be something you could discuss in the future... but for now, you're better off not wasting your time.If he's been willing to keep you around this long, you're probably great in bed. Find someone who values who you are as a person to share your talents with.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 5 years
Since you did not make the effort for any expectations, neither did he. You reap what you sow.
juicebox07 juicebox07 5 years
Get rid of him.
juicebox07 juicebox07 5 years
Get rid of him.
bellalad bellalad 5 years
2 years of the same bs...why waste your time? He sounds like a moron - why even deal with that? I would just cut him off - say its over and bounce. Forget him - he will find another booty call since he has the nerve to say he will anyway if you withhold sex. Things like this really bug me when women ask questions like this (please don't take this personally - cause it isn't just you). Don't you women know how much you are worth and know how much you deserve?? Come on. Drop the zero cause there are still heros out there that will treat you right. I've been called an a- hole so much cause of my "treat me wrong and I will drop you like nothing" attitude. This dude WILL NEVER CHANGE and I wouldn't be surprized if he doesn't have another "Girlfriend aka booty call". Run BZ Run.
bellalad bellalad 5 years
2 years of the same bs...why waste your time? He sounds like a moron - why even deal with that? I would just cut him off - say its over and bounce. Forget him - he will find another booty call since he has the nerve to say he will anyway if you withhold sex. Things like this really bug me when women ask questions like this (please don't take this personally - cause it isn't just you). Don't you women know how much you are worth and know how much you deserve?? Come on. Drop the zero cause there are still heros out there that will treat you right. I've been called an a- hole so much cause of my "treat me wrong and I will drop you like nothing" attitude. This dude WILL NEVER CHANGE and I wouldn't be surprized if he doesn't have another "Girlfriend aka booty call". Run BZ Run.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I agree with Helen. I don't think there's anything worth working out here. He already dumped you when you tried to bring it to his attention before. That's pretty awful. You can find someone who thinks you're worth more than that.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
Work what out? You already brought this up and he dumped you. That tells you what he wants. If he cared about your needs he would have listened to you.
searching-soul searching-soul 5 years
It's been two years of being treated like a booty call by your boyfriend? IMHO this is not acceptable or loving behavior in a relationship.It's fun to be treated like you are hot and sexy by your boyfriend but there should be more of a bond than just sex, at least if you are looking for something serious and lasting.No one wants to be treated like a sex object in a long term relationship. You're more than that. Withholding sex rarely works either, as you experienced. Manipulation rarely works but honesty can. I agree with Joe, you have to start being a lot more assertive about your needs. If he can't treat you in the way you want to be treated, you have to think about how much more effort you want to put in a relationship that does not sound like it's growing and evolving. 4yrs into it, do you still think it will be fair to yourself, for you to tolerate being treated like a booty call? It sounds like things might be headed in that direction and you have a lot of thinking to do. Good luck to you.
searching-soul searching-soul 5 years
It's been two years of being treated like a booty call by your boyfriend? IMHO this is not acceptable or loving behavior in a relationship.It's fun to be treated like you are hot and sexy by your boyfriend but there should be more of a bond than just sex, at least if you are looking for something serious and lasting.No one wants to be treated like a sex object in a long term relationship. You're more than that. Withholding sex rarely works either, as you experienced. Manipulation rarely works but honesty can. I agree with Joe, you have to start being a lot more assertive about your needs. If he can't treat you in the way you want to be treated, you have to think about how much more effort you want to put in a relationship that does not sound like it's growing and evolving. 4yrs into it, do you still think it will be fair to yourself, for you to tolerate being treated like a booty call? It sounds like things might be headed in that direction and you have a lot of thinking to do. Good luck to you.
goodguywannabe goodguywannabe 5 years
What about trying to put a few boundaries in place ad seeing what happens. For example, saying no to late night calls when he's been out with his buddies and wants booty, you don't need to be crtical, just suggest another time instead. Also keep an eye on how many other couple-y things you're doing together, going out for the night, hanging out with mutual friends, etc. If he just wants booty without strings, he may have to find another girl. If he just needs a bit of shaping, training in how to deal with relationships, okay you can give it more time. If it is the former, that's hard to take, being strung along, but it's probably happened to everyone, take care of yourself and get some support from your friends.
goodguywannabe goodguywannabe 5 years
What about trying to put a few boundaries in place ad seeing what happens. For example, saying no to late night calls when he's been out with his buddies and wants booty, you don't need to be crtical, just suggest another time instead. Also keep an eye on how many other couple-y things you're doing together, going out for the night, hanging out with mutual friends, etc. If he just wants booty without strings, he may have to find another girl. If he just needs a bit of shaping, training in how to deal with relationships, okay you can give it more time. If it is the former, that's hard to take, being strung along, but it's probably happened to everyone, take care of yourself and get some support from your friends.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 5 years
OP, You have to become a lot more assertive. Are you ready to become a lot more assertve?
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 5 years
OP, You have to become a lot more assertive. Are you ready to become a lot more assertve?
pax4pax pax4pax 5 years
Give up. Give him time to grow up. Maybe you can pick up ... a guy who lift you up.
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