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Is It My Fault He Didn't Get In to Law School?

Is It My Fault He Didn't Get In to Law School?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of six years broke up with me a few months ago. We were going through a rocky patch, fighting a lot about our future, and he suddenly broke up with me in the middle of dinner at our favorite restaurant. He was in the midst of writing his law school applications and told me the stress of our constant arguing was too much of a distraction from writing his essays.

I was flabbergasted and completely caught off guard by the breakup as I was under the impression we were well on our way to the altar. I have since been trying my best to move on although there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of him. I was at dinner with some mutual friends of ours who told me that he didn't get into any of the law schools he applied too. I feel so awful and can't help but think it is partially my fault. Should I call him and apologize or do you think I am the last person on earth he would want to hear from? I just feel so horrible. Guilty Gina

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Guilty Gina,

I am sorry to hear about your breakup, they really are just the worst. I hope you are taking care of yourself and leaning on your friends and family for support. I am also sorry, for your ex's sake, to hear he will not be attending law school next year. I am sure your initial reaction is to feel guilt, but you should not blame yourself in the slightest bit.

Your ex made the decision to sever ties with you so that this exact situation didn't happen. I think it is safe to say you are off the hook. If he was feeling remorseful for the way things ended between you that is an emotion he chose to deal with on his own. If you want to give him a call to make sure he is alright, I think that is perfectly fine and quite admirable of you, although be prepared if you don't get a warm response, I am sure his ego is quite bruised.

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