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My Friends' Kids Make Me Want Kids Less

Sunday Confessional: My Friends' Kids Make Me Want Kids Less

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

The closer I get to child-rearing age, the more my friends are getting pregnant and having babies. All their kids are great, but hanging out with kids just isn't my thing. It's a lot of hassle, and I'm still enjoying my childless life too much. Hanging out with a bunch of cute kids seems like it should make me want kids, but it's having the opposite effect.



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Join The Conversation
HeavnsGirl HeavnsGirl 5 years
There is nothing wrong with not having children. It's a personal choice, and if you know now that you don't want them, then don't have them. It's really nobody else's business. I don't have them and don't want them. I love other people's kids, but I also love the fact that they go home to a home that is not mine.
HeavnsGirl HeavnsGirl 5 years
There is nothing wrong with not having children. It's a personal choice, and if you know now that you don't want them, then don't have them. It's really nobody else's business.I don't have them and don't want them. I love other people's kids, but I also love the fact that they go home to a home that is not mine.
trinitycc trinitycc 5 years
There is nothing wrong with you. Don't have kids if you don't want them. I'm 48, have 6 nieces, love them all but don't want any of my own. I'm fortunate to have found my husband when I was 26 and he didn't want any either. Children are a tremendous responsibility, it is not to be taken lightly. One thing, my husband has a daughter from his 1st marriage. He didn't want her, his wife went off the pill without telling him. They got a divorce when she was 5. He is honest with her (she's 36), we all have a great relationship; and he tells her that he didn't want to have kids; he loves her but if it was up to him, he would not have had her. So some people say it's different with your own, maybe they have no choice once the child is here...
honeylocs honeylocs 5 years
I think there's nothing wrong with how you feel. Everybody isn't supposed to procreate. I call myself child-free rather than childless. I'm so glad I never caved under some pressure from others. I like kids, but only when I want them around, not all the time. Nothing wrong with that thinking. It only becomes bad when someone who doesn't want children has them to satisfy someone else. Only have them IF you want them. I have a friend who says I'm selfish for not having them. Sour grapes, LOL
Blackwood Blackwood 5 years
I know I feel the exact same way about relationships. Some of my friends' boyfriend-drama (or not drama: like spacekatgal said, they used to be interesting and now they just seem consumed) or FWB bizarre puzzles of mind games and power trips make me feel happy to be a virgin and almost be certain I want to die this way.
snarkypants snarkypants 5 years
every moment i spend with a child makes me want them less. i think that's okay. not everybody was made to be a mother. your life isn't any less meaningful just because you don't feel the urge to procreate.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 5 years
If you don't want kids, by all means, don't have them! :D You figured out what you want in life, and that's awesome.If your friends seem to drop off the face of the earth after having a baby, offer to stop by with a cup of coffee and go with the park to the kid. As someone with a kid, I can say that my biggest stumbling block to hanging out with my friends is not being able to find a babysitter, and not knowing whether a grown-up friend is okay with my kid tagging along.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 5 years
If you don't want kids, by all means, don't have them! :D You figured out what you want in life, and that's awesome. If your friends seem to drop off the face of the earth after having a baby, offer to stop by with a cup of coffee and go with the park to the kid. As someone with a kid, I can say that my biggest stumbling block to hanging out with my friends is not being able to find a babysitter, and not knowing whether a grown-up friend is okay with my kid tagging along.
sugajen sugajen 5 years
I'm in my mid twenties and I thought I never want kids because I'm still pretty selfish and adventurous. It does change ppl and I prefer to "rent" my friends kids than have one of my own. Children may bring love and compassion but they also limit your choices. Maybe in ten years....
kurniakasih kurniakasih 5 years
Why do you have to have kids? I've got friends who got no kids. And yeah, I get so jealous sometimes that they can just jet off on a trip to Paris, Milan, etc, and make plan for mini reunion so very easily (while I have to be the only one to make plans around my kid's plan--and I may have to cancel if my kid gets sick). LOL. Don't want to scare you off more, but having kids = sacrifice. And you really really have to be completely sure that you want kids anyway. Because even when you are, or you think you are, there will be days when you just feel like the world just crashed down on you and it feels as if it's not worth it. There will be days when you don't even like your own kids although you love 'em very much. Yepper. This still happens even when you think you're ready.So don't have kids because you think it's what's expected of you. Good luck.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 5 years
Why do you have to have kids? I've got friends who got no kids. And yeah, I get so jealous sometimes that they can just jet off on a trip to Paris, Milan, etc, and make plan for mini reunion so very easily (while I have to be the only one to make plans around my kid's plan--and I may have to cancel if my kid gets sick). LOL. Don't want to scare you off more, but having kids = sacrifice. And you really really have to be completely sure that you want kids anyway. Because even when you are, or you think you are, there will be days when you just feel like the world just crashed down on you and it feels as if it's not worth it. There will be days when you don't even like your own kids although you love 'em very much. Yepper. This still happens even when you think you're ready. So don't have kids because you think it's what's expected of you. Good luck.
MsWalton MsWalton 5 years
I get a LOT of nasty remarks when I tell people that I've never wanted children. Blast me if you (not you personally) want, but in these days and times, I don't have to get married and have babies. Perhaps more people should seriously think about that instead of having children they can't take care of for various reasons. I'm stepping off my soapbox now.
Studio16 Studio16 5 years
Yawn. Boring.I'm not being bitchy, just sarcastically but lovingly assuring you that there is NOTHING wrong with the way you feel. No, seriously. Maybe kids just aren't in your niche. Maybe not now, maybe not ever. (While one of the previous posters said eventually you'll be ready, I disagree. Some people are never ready for kids. And that's OK, too.) Do not have kids because you think that you should. Have kids because you want to. Kids can tell when they're not truly loved, and that will totally **** them up. Maybe try spending a few days a week with kids and then decide how you feel? I can't really suggest anything besides that and a lot of soul searching.
Studio16 Studio16 5 years
Yawn. Boring. I'm not being bitchy, just sarcastically but lovingly assuring you that there is NOTHING wrong with the way you feel. No, seriously. Maybe kids just aren't in your niche. Maybe not now, maybe not ever. (While one of the previous posters said eventually you'll be ready, I disagree. Some people are never ready for kids. And that's OK, too.) Do not have kids because you think that you should. Have kids because you want to. Kids can tell when they're not truly loved, and that will totally **** them up. Maybe try spending a few days a week with kids and then decide how you feel? I can't really suggest anything besides that and a lot of soul searching.
TammyO TammyO 5 years
News flash! You don't HAVE to have kids if you don't want to. In other news, the sun is a big, firey ball of gas.
mix-tape mix-tape 5 years
I think kids are annoying for the most part, but what really irks me is how people change when they have them. Yeah, it's selfish of me to expect my friends to remain the same, but dang those offspring really warp a person's world permanently. It's going to have to take some serious planning for me to be ready to have children. Just grin and bare it when you're forced to be around the children, then live adventurously in the now, child-free.
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