My husband and father have always gotten along. But both of them like to drink and sometimes when they get together their arguing gets out of hand. Nothing ever happens really; mostly just horsing around and name-calling. They apologize later and things are fine.
But this past weekend was different. The fighting intensified and my dad hurt my husband. It wasn't as though it was intentional, but now my husband is angry. I feel like I am in the middle. Now my husband doesn't ever want to talk to my dad again, and doesn't want our kids, who adore my father, to be around him. He said all this the night of the accident and I haven't really talked to him about it since. How do I handle this situation? Do you think things can go back to the way they were? In The Middle Madison
Dear In The Middle Madison
Your husband and dad need to resolve this - you are a family and you do not want to put your children in a situation where they can't see their grandfather. Your husband was a participant in this situation and he can't blame your dad, just because he was the one that got hurt.
Take a walk, or take some time for you and your husband to be alone. Use this situation as an example of the repercussions of drinking. Explain to him that you can't let this slide any longer and that you feel forced to set rules. Since dad and hubby are horsing around and acting like drunken kids, you have no choice but to put them on a NO DRINKING probation period.
I think you are well aware of the excuses you are making for the both of them. What are you waiting for? Someone's going to get hurt. G-d forbid next time it's one of your kids.