I have been married to my wonderful husband for almost two years and we have been together for a total of six. We have a 22 month old son and I love my family very much. My husband has never given me any reason to doubt his trust until a few months ago.
It was around late August - early September when he started going to happy hour with three of his old co-workers; two women (one married-with problems, one engaged) and his former boss (male), who is also married. I am OK with his socializing after work, but he has recently been very vague with his information regarding what they do, where they go, and who else they are with. When he gets home, I end up having to pry information out of him which I hate having to do.
I confronted my husband about his actions and he hurt my feelings and was very apologetic. He reassured me nothing was going on and they are all just friends. He did not realize he was doing anything wrong and said he left out the details because he didn't want to make me feel bad or hurt. I am just wondering if I have reason to feel that this relationship is unacceptable? Concerned Katrina
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Dear Concerned Katrina
You are the best judge of your husband, so if you feel in your heart that he isn't being truthful then you need to revisit this conversation. How often is he going out with this group? Has he been acting differently towards you since spending time with these old co-workers? Are you feeling neglected as a result of his happy hour jaunts?
Every couple has different views on acceptable friendships, especially those of the opposite sex. There is no right answer, some friendships work for some couples that don't for others. If you are feeling insecure about your husband's after work activities, he should be respectful of your feelings and your marriage and cool it down a little bit. Also, if he's not being forthcoming with his whereabouts that is something to discuss as well with him.
I understand that you don't want to nag him, but trust is very fragile in relationships and if he's not taking care of that, it could lead to trouble for you guys. Let your husband know that your feelings are being affected, and that you are trying not to over react, however, you need him to be more communicative about his where-abouts. In the meantime, try not to jump to any conclusions without finding out all of the facts first.