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My Jealousy Is Going to Wreck My Relationship

Dear Sugar,
I've got a problem. I am an over jealous girlfriend and I feel like I'm driving my boyfriend insane. I keep breaking up with him and taking him back. I don't know why I don't trust him. He truly is a good guy. We've been together for three years and seven months. We broke up once for about six months though and somewhere in the middle we both began dating other people.

Shortly after, I broke up with the other guy and I realized he was the one who I wanted to be with. We have been back together but lately, I've been so jealous. I constantly want to check his phone and I get upset when he goes to a movie without me. I feel like this isn't me! What can I do? Jealous Janie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Jealous Janie
You should look up all of the proverbs that say that jealousy is a sin. Does your boyfriend have a pattern of cheating on you? Does he not make you feel good and loved? Whatever the case is - communication without being a nag is the best remedy.

Tell him that you are sorry for being jealous and that you are trying to get control of your behavior. Then ask him, if he wouldn't mind being more open with you. This way you wouldn't feel the need to ask so many questions and he wouldn't perceive you as a nag. You would also get your dose of constant reassurance.

The point is that you have to trust him until that trust is broken. You have to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he's not going to harm the relationship.

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