My current boyfriend and I first dated four years ago. It ended abruptly after he unexpectedly called things off and broke my 19 year old heart. However, nine months ago, after much groveling and pleading, I've allowed him back into my life to give our relationship another shot.
My mother has never forgiven my boyfriend for how he hurt me. She supported me during and after my breakup and she doesn't understand why I would give him another opportunity to hurt me again. I understand her concerns but I believe in second chances. We really love each other and I am willing to see if this time we can make it work.
I am currently living with my mom which complicates matters even more. Things are still not perfect between us but he is really trying to make things right. I feel trapped because I know my mother doesn't approve and her support means everything to me. Do you have any advice? Helpless Heather
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Dear Helpless Heather
Understand that your mom is just trying to protect you. It's her job to look out for you and she just doesn't want to see you get hurt again. You must have reservations of your own and deep down you know that she's not entirely wrong to be a little bit worried about you. My advice to you is take things slow with him and be vigilant when trusting him this time around.
Having your mom there to support your relationship will take time. Since you are living with her, you are going to have to be as respectful as possible. Try talking to her and letting her know that you are being careful of your heart and that she should trust that you are making the right decision by giving the relationship another chance. Hopefully your boyfriend will prove your mom's fears wrong.
Since you and your boyfriend are still working out your relationship, give your mom some time to warm up to him again. Make sure your boyfriend is aware that your mother is keeping a close eye on him. Warn him to be extra considerate and polite to her. On the bright side, you should feel very lucky that you have a mom who cares so much about you.