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My Parents Hate My Husband

Group Therapy: I Complained, Now Parents Hate My Husband

This question is from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Hi, everyone . . .

So, I am in a situation where nobody but me likes my husband. We have had a tough few years due to having a baby, work stress, etc. I have gone to counseling (he won't), and I am trying hard to improve our relationship and marriage so that we have a good home for our baby.

I made the mistake of "venting" about my problems with my husband to my family, especially my parents. I guess that I have been in a state of arrested development or something, and although I am over 30, kept going to them about every little thing. I have had a hard time talking to my spouse, or understanding his behavior, and so I would consult them. I guess I overdid it, because now they can't stand him. We are now in need of their help big-time, and they won't help us because they don't like him. He has always had a rather reserved, once-in-a-while-visit type of relationship with them, even though we live very close. My husband is very introverted.

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Now, since they won't help us in our time of need, he has figured out that it is because of him. They would easily bend over backwards to help my other siblings and their spouses. He told me that he has now given up on having a relationship with them, is tired of the family drama, and feels like he can do nothing right in their eyes.

Now I am in the middle of an ugly situation. I feel like it is all my fault because of my whiny, big mouth. My relationship with my husband definitely has its ups and downs, but it is worth staying in — I love him very much. I think that my family is just trying to get me to leave him because they say that I am not happy when he's around compared to how I was before. (We've been together almost 7 years now.) I have a close relationship with my family, and now I feel stuck. Is there any way to repair it? I can come clean to my husband, which will upset him — I realize that, but I am OK with it. I need to be honest. But, I don't feel that my parents will believe me that my "horrible relationship" was exaggerated by the amount of time that I talked about the negative vs. the positive. They will think that I am just saying it to get them to help us and to keep the peace.

What should I do?

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