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Mystery Gift

Dear Sugar
I recently got married and am now coming down from my wedding high. After our honeymoon, my husband and I had a great time opening all of our gifts. One present we came across was a beautifully wrapped item in a gorgeous gift bag with the word love printed on it in large block letters.

Inside of the many layers of wrapping was a very expensive bottle of champagne in an embroidered silk sac, but there was no card attached. We invited lots of guests to our wedding, mostly close friends, family and some acquaintances.

We certainly did not get gifts from everyone, so there really is no way for us to deduce who this is from. Do you know if there is any way to tactfully ask around to find out who gave us this gift so we can properly thank them? We just want to do the right thing and are not sure how to handle this. Puzzled Paulette

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Puzzled Paulette
Congratulations! I hope that you are loving being a newlywed. Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do to tactfully find out who gave you this gift. Oftentimes cards simply just get misplaced. Have you searched for a miscellaneous card that isn't attached to another gift?

Typically when one forgets a card, you can call the store where the gift was purchased and ask the sales associate to look up in their records who the buyer was, but if you are not sure where the champagne came from, there might not be a way to track the gift. Do you have a friend who typically gives champagne as a gift?

Do you know of anyone who wraps gifts the way the champagne was wrapped? Since you have not received all of your gifts, asking someone if the bubbly was from them could put them on the spot if they have yet to buy you something. Hopefully soon, they will ask how the champagne was and then you can express how sorry you are that they hadn't received a thank you note yet. I'm sure they will understand, this kind of this is quite common.

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Padraigin Padraigin 9 years
Same thing happened to us with some of our gifts. We just told a couple friends and family members and asked them to spread the word of the missing cards and gifts (there were 5) and eventually, we found out who all the gifts were from.
a-nonny-mouse a-nonny-mouse 9 years
When you bump into people that attended your wedding (and offered a gift), take a moment to warmly, sincerely thank them again (noting their thoughtfulness, and how they chose such a well suited gift). Tell them how blessed you and your husband feel to have received so many lovely gifts -- and be sure to mention that you were surprised and delighted to receive a nice bottle of champagne (but be sure not to let it over-shadow the joy and appreciation you expressed at receiving *this* person's gift -- perhaps you should not mention the exorbitant cost; it may sound tacky, or make it appear that you value the other gifts to a lesser degree because they may not have cost as much -- of course this is not how you feel, but people can sometimes be very sensitive about their gifts and might take offense where none was intended). Mention that you only wished you could also thank the person that gave you the champagne, but there was no tag. But, nevertheless, you cannot possible thank this person (the one to whom you are now speaking) enough for coming to the wedding and being a part of your special day. ((gently grasp their hand, look them in the eye, and mean absolutely EVERY kind word that you say; be all aglow with sweet thankfulness)) Perhaps this person will mention your graciousness to other wedding guests, and subtly pass along your little anecdote -- someone may figure out who sent the champagne, after all. But that's just one method; Dear had great suggestions.
bluejeanie bluejeanie 9 years
this sort of thing happened to me a few months ago. i was married in sept and we found a few gifts with no tags. we talked to family who then gossiped and then we found out who it was from so we could thank them.
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