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Nicole Daedone of One Taste and the Slow-Sex Movement

The Slow-Sex Movement: An Introduction

You may have heard of the slow-food movement that started in Italy to counteract the rise of fast food, promote locally grown produce, and encourage meals made and eaten with care. A similar movement is taking hold in the sexual arena: the slow-sex movement. It borrows ideas from many Eastern practices like Tantra and Buddhist mindfulness but with a modern twist.

No, the slow-sex movement doesn't advocate having sex very, very slowly (although that could be one method of engaging in it!). Rather, it seeks to remind people in a pornified world, where the pressure for an ideal body or the "right way" to have sex, has taken them away from the foundation of sex: connection (with your partner and your own body), intimacy, and pleasure. (Based on some of your responses to our recent posts on orgasms — sexual pleasure can be particularly difficult for women.)

I recently had the opportunity to sit down and talk to one of the most vibrant (and controversial) voices of the slow-sex movement — Nicole Daedone, who runs OneTaste, an urban retreat center in San Francisco. (There's also a branch in New York City.) At OneTaste, women and men can learn about mindful sexuality through classes, lectures, or living at the center. The New York Times describes it as a "co-ed live-in commune dedicated to the female orgasm." Residents engage in morning "OMing" sessions in which women — naked from the waist down — lie in curtained rooms while fully clothed men stroke them to orgasm.

These mindful sex "research partners" and their practices could be easily laughed at or dismissed, but put your preconceptions aside and read the series of interviews with Nicole I will post in the next few days. I can't wait to hear what you think of it all!

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
Residents engage in morning "OMing" sessions in which women — naked from the waist down — lie in curtained rooms while fully clothed men stroke them to orgasm.....huh? Sounds like an orgy. No thanks. No for me.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
Residents engage in morning "OMing" sessions in which women — naked from the waist down — lie in curtained rooms while fully clothed men stroke them to orgasm.....huh? Sounds like an orgy. No thanks. No for me.
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 7 years
yeah i'm all for being sexually aware and taking time to really connect spiritually and mentally and "mindfully" with my partner, but I am uncomfortable with the idea of living in a commune where every morning men "stroke me off" i prefer to leave such intimate practices with some one i choose personally. like my boyfriend.
Skyhawk Skyhawk 7 years
I love the idea of slow sex and the sense of connection that develops with OMing. I agree that sharing this between only myself and my partner creates a greater sense of intimacy. I get to really learn about my partner and we can talk about what she likes and what she wants, in a very safe environment.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
I like the concept of slow-sex, but I'd rather keep something so intimate between myself and my partner. So, no, you probably won't find me attending any of the workshops/seminars. Yeah, it's natural, but so is every bodily function. Interesting idea, I guess, for those who are open to it.
karlotta karlotta 7 years
WTF! I think the OM concept is really screwed up, and a sign that our civilization is going to hell in a handbasket. I'm all for female orgasms, and I'm lucky enough to have a natural "slow sex" boyfriend (who spends hours satisfying me EVERY TIME) - but there is no way I could ever condone this WITH STRANGERS IN A WORKSHOP. What the hell! Americans and sex - my mind explodes regularly.
karlotta karlotta 7 years
WTF!I think the OM concept is really screwed up, and a sign that our civilization is going to hell in a handbasket. I'm all for female orgasms, and I'm lucky enough to have a natural "slow sex" boyfriend (who spends hours satisfying me EVERY TIME) - but there is no way I could ever condone this WITH STRANGERS IN A WORKSHOP. What the hell! Americans and sex - my mind explodes regularly.
Love-and-Sex Love-and-Sex 7 years
Shuang Xiu, the slow-sex movement is informed by Buddhism and Tantric practices. The Buddhist practice of mindfulness is a huge part of the slow sex movement — to learn to be present to feelings, emotions, sensations. Tantra sees sex as something sacred and important, and invites sexual partners to cultivate energy between them in a sort of egoless state.
DrDishevel DrDishevel 7 years
My goodness,,,,I also want to add that,Intelligence is based on how complicated a human can make a situations, after the human complicates the situation to the point of confusion. Then he starts the process of figuring out what he complicated and whichever one figures it out is consider Intelligent.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
I'm suspending my disbelief. I mean, anything dedicated to the female orgasm sounds pretty fantastic in my book, so why not? I'll be interested to hear more about it.
Veka Veka 7 years
I like this concept. While I wouldn't do it with someone random, it might be something to look into with a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. I think it would definitely help the couple to become more in touch with each other (no pun intended!).
skigurl skigurl 7 years
i think the om-ing thing sounds cool
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
I agree 100% with the sentiment of the article.
Chrstne Chrstne 7 years
I read about this in the NY times a while ago. I think this is an interesting concept. I know in the article it was mentioned that more often than not, couples go...so it's not like random male, random female -- though in some cases, it does happen. I think this whole thing is more about meditation on the whole the the OM, or orgasmic meditation is just centered around the women. They do healthful things, like yoga and what not, and other forms of meditation as well. I can see how women would get some kind of enjoyment or release of anger or anxiety from an orgasm, and it can make them feel more in touch with themselves and their partners. I don't think it's gross. I think it's an *interesting* way to help your issues.
leslievanhouten leslievanhouten 7 years
gross? it's a sex/orgasm workshop. it's a pretty natural/normal thing, but in an unconventional setting
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 7 years
gross. the "oming" thing I mean. TMI and gross.
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