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There's Nothing Like Girlfriends

There's Nothing Like Girlfriends

Dear Sugar
Two years ago I lived with three other girls, we were all really good friends and then things turned sour. The way they see it is that I was responsible for all the problems that happened, and everything was blamed on me.

l left with things somewhat resolved and moved away for a year. Now I'm back and living with a mutual friend of the group. I love these girls and want to be able to be close with them, but at the same time I don't want to put myself in a negative situation again.

By moving away I found out so much more about myself and want to be able to implement that into my daily life. How can I get over the past and move on to start a new future? Concerned Cornelia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Concerned Cornelia
Have an open and honest discussion with your girlfriends. Don't forget there are three sides to every story: a) yours, b) theirs, and c) the truth.

Think about what you've done to offend them and apologize for it. Then think about what they've done to hurt you and ask them if their intentions were malicious. Listen carefully to what they say. Maybe you've changed, but if they haven't then you will wind up back at square one again.

Explain that your year away has given you great perspective and it's also shown you how deeply you care for them. Tell them that you've missed them and that more than anything you'd like to be friends again. Having a grown up conversation (limit the blaming) can really get you far. Hopefully you gal pals can hug it out and make a fresh start.

Hey, if this winds up working out, can you call the folks over at HBO and try to arrange a Sex And The City Reunion?

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sanD13 sanD13 10 years
I love what you said about 3 sides to every story. yours, theirs and the truth. that's so true and something to always remember when dealing with girl drama. thanks dearsugar.
beach_babe beach_babe 10 years
i couldnt live without my girlfriends! even when we fight we always cool off and get back together. BFF'S (best friends forever)
My-Opinion My-Opinion 10 years
Cornelia, don't go back and move in again, believe me, it'll come up again...'whatever' it was....if it don't work the first time shame on everyone..if you go back and it don't work again..shame on you...time to start learning from mistakes*
karmasabitch karmasabitch 10 years
Sex and the City reunion.. WOOOOOOOOT! Great advice Dear.. I agree completely. It's amazing what an apology/explanation/heartfelt conversation can accomplish.. if they were your close friends, I'm sure that they will want to sit down and hear you out. Like Dear said, limit the blame, be honest, and I'm sure it'll turn out alright. Good luck! :)
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Hey or u can be like me and go the rest of ur life with out any friends! U dont want that so I suggest u follow that given advice and good luck!
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Perfect advice Dear! Be prepared to eat some crow. None of this "I'm sorry if I offended you" nonsense. Own up to your mistakes and apologize for your actions, not their reactions. You should be able to expect the same from them.
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