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Was Our Break Up Circumstantial?

Dear Sugar
I was dating this guy for about four months and things were going phenomenal; we met each other's families and friends, and saw each other often.

And then out of the blue he told me that he doesn't want to see me anymore. I honestly think that he felt like his life was a little out of his control – he was traveling a lot for work, I was traveling too and so we were having a harder time meeting up.

I really feel that it was one of those break-ups that happened because it was the only part of his life that he can control at that moment. Either way, I can't stop thinking about him. It's been three weeks since we last spoke and I am dying to contact him. I want to try and fight to get him back. What are your thoughts? Can't Give Up Colleen

Dear Can't Give Up Colleen
Go for it until you've exhausted the chase. Three weeks is a good amount of time for him to be alone and gain some perspective. But, there's a fine line between trying to get him back and playing yourself out. You don't want to look desperate.

I think you should call him and leave a nice, breezy message such as; "Hi, I've been thinking of you. I hope your traveling is going well. I'd like to catch up, so call me when you have a free minute to chat."

If you want to go out on a limb, add an "I miss you" at the end - short and sweet. Then wait a week. If you don't hear back from him after a week, call once more - but that's it.

He may be busy, but you have to prepare yourself for the possibility that he may also have been looking for an excuse.

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