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Oversharing Can Be Good For Friendship

Do You Tend to Undershare or Overshare?

Twitter, Facebook, and the Internet in general make oversharing all too easy. But don't overcompensate by keeping everything to yourself! Not surprisingly, psychologists say putting an emotional guard up can cause you to miss friendship opportunities. I can back that up with anecdotal evidence. I always find that sharing a juicy dating story or a relatable insecurity helps me bond with potential friends. Just like a little self-deprecating humor, sharing details about your personal life can make you seem approachable and likable. Of course we don't need to know everything you ate in a day, hear you whine every time you get stuck in traffic, or get into graphic details about your sex life — at least not until we're really good friends!

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jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Only share with people I have known for a long time and trust implicitly. Not on facebook, don't get the whole tell-all attitudes these days....I mean, does anyone really give a shit that you ate a tuna sandwich for lunch?
starbucks2 starbucks2 5 years
I'm definitely an undersharer because I'm really private. I just made a new friend and she is always coming to me to talk about her relationship troubles. While I'm fine with being there for her I just wouldn't do that with someone I don't think I can trust completely. I have two girlfriends I've known forever and I can talk to them about stuff, but there's a lot of stuff I wouldn't even tell them.
lwimbush lwimbush 5 years
I definitely tend to undershare because like someone mentioned, I just don't think people would find these things about me interesting. Of course, with my close friends, I tell them things here and there, and eventually over time they grow to know more about me. Now I'm noticing that most of my friends are overshare-ers and I think that plays a big part in the dynamic of our friendships. I'm definitely the "listener" or "advice-giver" of the group, but often when I'm going through something it kind of gets overlooked because no one has the complete scope of the situation or knows quite what to say or how I'll handle it. Just yesterday my friend wanted to know something about my sex life but she was afraid to ask, assuming that if I wanted her to know I would have just come out and told her already. I, on the other hand, wouldn't ever just bring it up, and I assumed that if she wanted to know she would ask. That may be a backwards way of thinking, especially about your close friends, and it's not that I have a problem sharing things with people--for the most part I'll answer, and honestly if they ask me things--it's just I don't ever want to bore or burden people with my stuff.
lwimbush lwimbush 5 years
I definitely tend to undershare because like someone mentioned, I just don't think people would find these things about me interesting. Of course, with my close friends, I tell them things here and there, and eventually over time they grow to know more about me. Now I'm noticing that most of my friends are overshare-ers and I think that plays a big part in the dynamic of our friendships. I'm definitely the "listener" or "advice-giver" of the group, but often when I'm going through something it kind of gets overlooked because no one has the complete scope of the situation or knows quite what to say or how I'll handle it. Just yesterday my friend wanted to know something about my sex life but she was afraid to ask, assuming that if I wanted her to know I would have just come out and told her already. I, on the other hand, wouldn't ever just bring it up, and I assumed that if she wanted to know she would ask. That may be a backwards way of thinking, especially about your close friends, and it's not that I have a problem sharing things with people--for the most part I'll answer, and honestly if they ask me things--it's just I don't ever want to bore or burden people with my stuff.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I probably overshare more on the internet where it's more anonymous, but even then I don't think I really do. I am very private and quiet in real life and it actually pisses my friends off sometimes, haha. They get mad when I don't tell them really important stuff going on in my life. I try to be more open with those I'm close with, but I grew up in a stoic household so it's been a hard transition to talk about things.
amber512 amber512 5 years
It totally depends on who I'm with. If it is someone I feel intimidated by : I undershare. Online and with people I'm more comfortable around I overshare! Bad habit.
amber512 amber512 5 years
It totally depends on who I'm with. If it is someone I feel intimidated by : I undershare.Online and with people I'm more comfortable around I overshare! Bad habit.
vanilla19 vanilla19 5 years
On Facebook I never overshare. I'm too used to seeing statuses or wall posts that really surprise or even disgust me so I'm incredibly cautious.
mix-tape mix-tape 5 years
I am a mixture. I try not to cross the line of appropriateness at work. No need to share what I'm doing next weekend with my co workers. In my personal life, with my closest friends, I share EVERYTHING. What are girlfriends for? Yeah we're going to talk about guys' dick size or when I cooked a really great dinner.
chequettex chequettex 5 years
I'm an undershare-er in all aspects. I'm private (not shy - there's a difference!) and I just don't like everyone knowing all my business. But I'll share much more with a close friend or someone I trust. When I meet new people and they are oversharers, I find it a little weird, but I try to keep an open mind about it and just realize that their personality is different. And if they overshare about other people a lot, I definitely won't share anything about myself I don't want passed on.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 5 years
Undershare.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 5 years
Undershare.
Tonii2010 Tonii2010 5 years
I tend to over share many things in person but I tend to undershare online because I dont want the world to know my personal business. I would rather share with people I trust
elramos elramos 5 years
Overshare in person. Definitely undershare online. I really hate when people overshare on facebook. It doesn't make me more interested in them. It's actually annoying and I tend to unfriend them.
weffie weffie 5 years
Overshare I suppose, but I don't think it's usually uninvited... If someone asks me a question and I give them an honest answer, it's their fault for asking for TMI in the first place ;)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 5 years
Undershare. And I'm okay with that. :)
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 5 years
Pistil, I'm the same way. I don't tell people about myself because I figure my personal details just aren't that interesting. Then, months and months after getting to know someone, I hear something like, "I had no idea you were divorced!" or "You never told me you had a twin!" Some huge part of my life comes up in the conversation, and I realize that I've never told my new friend about it.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 5 years
ejr, I'm the opposite. Undershare in person, overshare online.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
I undershare. I often think of something to say, and then dismiss it. I'd like to be more open. I think a little vulnerability is valuable.
ejr ejr 5 years
overshare in person, but undershare online
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
Undershare at work, but a strike a balance in real life.
Chrstne Chrstne 5 years
While I will occasionally tell my SO or my mom "I have to pee", I don't overshare. I'm a very private person, so I don't tell people a lot of things. I can definitely see how it would help to make friends in certain situations, though.
le-romantique le-romantique 5 years
I've always been an overshare-er. I strive to be honest and open, but sometimes that leads to TMI, "I gotta pee", as an example. haha. My friends don't mind though, and those that do mind are not my friends.
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