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Panic Attacks When Alone

Group Therapy: I Can't Handle Being Alone

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

For the last year or two, I've been having major alone issues. My boyfriend lives with me, and every time he leaves for more than a couple hours to go to his mom's or something, I get deeply depressed. Like I get really upset and cry a lot and can't sleep or anything.

Sometimes I'll pass out at abnormal hours compared to my usual and sleep for only a few hours then wake up crying for no apparent reason. Then I'm awake for the next couple days. My chest even hurts almost the whole time I'm alone. I've been like this since I started having difficulties with my last serious boyfriend in September of 2009, maybe even before that.

I want to know why I'm like this and if I should start seeking professional help. I can't handle it, and it sucks. I don't like this happening when it shouldn't. My friends and family and boyfriend shouldn't have to spend every second with me just so I'll be OK.

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soulsearcher83 soulsearcher83 5 years
It sounds to me like you are suffering from anxiety. Current treatments include talk therapy and medication. I know exactly how it feels. I've had very bad panic attacks where my chest feels like an elephant just stepped on it. You can get better with treatment. Left untreated and ignored, it can get so much worse. Don't put off getting help because it will be harder later. Best of luck.
ohhaiamberoo ohhaiamberoo 5 years
Lol, no. It doesn't matter who I'm with. Boyfriend, family, friends, ect. If I'm with SOMEBODY I'm fine. Plus when I'm alone I'm not like omg I want sex. No. I typically don't have a high sex need or want in the first place. So I'm pretty sure that's not it. I'm one of those people who likes it, yes. But I don't get all depressed when I don't have it. I don't exactly have REGULAR sex anyway. When I'm alone I'm mostly thinking how I just want them here with me. Not really that I want him here so we can screw around. I'm not typically like that. But that is an interesting thought! :)
Lenay Lenay 5 years
Just for a fresh perspective, you might consider the possibility of a hormone imbalance. It can definitely cause mood swings and depression. Plus, I assume when you're "with somebody" you're having regular sex, and perhaps abstaining when you live alone? Sex increases both male and female hormones in your system. Hormones control your moods. You may want to see your gynecologist.
ohhaiamberoo ohhaiamberoo 5 years
It is a much bigger problem than that. Because, if I am alone on regular occasion, after a while I become fine. But once I get used to being around people everyday again, the problem comes back. So leaving my 6 month relationship is not the answer. I have"learned to live with myself" plenty. Thank you everyone for all the input! It seems everyone agrees its a deep anxiety disorder and I'm looking into professionals in my area.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
This is classic anxiety disorder. My brother suffers from it so I know it well. You need to talk to your doctor and that may lead to a prescription for something, but take heart, they are making very good strides in treatment of this disorder. It may take a long time to nail down, but once they do you'll have a normal life back.
KeLynns KeLynns 5 years
I think you should see therapist. I don't think this is a simple "you don't know how to live with yourself" thing that TammyO said. It sounds like you have a real anxiety problem, and I don't think any regular person will be equipped to help you. Even if your boyfriend stayed with you 24/7 I still don't think that would really solve this problem - it would only mask a symptom. I think it's something much deeper than just you being lonely. And a professional could help you figure out what is going on, and how to deal with it.
TammyO TammyO 5 years
If you can't be alone then you aren't ready for a relationship either. You need to learn to live with yourself before you can be with others.
dark-chocola dark-chocola 5 years
may be you start writing down diaries..what you feel..what you're going through, go for regular walks, find your place by this i mean to find a place that you feel happy and relieved in..don't laugh at me but since college i found out that the Egyptian museum down town is my place, whenever i feel unhappy, confused, desperate..i go there walk and walk and spend all the day in then when am home i am just relax..Reading is a wonderful thing to do, i was thinking when i first heard this idea that is ridiculous, but GOD it really help, it like you are sinking in the book and characters and with time you find yourself running away from your problems to your bookfind your sort of books, find your writer that you feel he writes what you want to say..mine is : Paulo Coelho..Did you read Brida..it is a good book to start
dark-chocola dark-chocola 5 years
may be you start writing down diaries..what you feel..what you're going through, go for regular walks, find your place by this i mean to find a place that you feel happy and relieved in..don't laugh at me but since college i found out that the Egyptian museum down town is my place, whenever i feel unhappy, confused, desperate..i go there walk and walk and spend all the day in then when am home i am just relax.. Reading is a wonderful thing to do, i was thinking when i first heard this idea that is ridiculous, but GOD it really help, it like you are sinking in the book and characters and with time you find yourself running away from your problems to your book find your sort of books, find your writer that you feel he writes what you want to say..mine is : Paulo Coelho..Did you read Brida..it is a good book to start
ohhaiamberoo ohhaiamberoo 5 years
And yoga actually sounds like a great idea!
ohhaiamberoo ohhaiamberoo 5 years
Thank you for the input it's very much appreciated. I never thought I still had depression since I'm fine when I'm with someone. But I will look into trying to see someone hopefully. Get this figured out :/.
searching-soul searching-soul 5 years
Typo"start exercising"
searching-soul searching-soul 5 years
Typo"start exercising"
searching-soul searching-soul 5 years
To add: You have all of the symptoms of anxiety and depression. The insomnia-when anxiety is high you can be awake for days. The crying, the chest pains.Please talk to someone. It can get worst if left untreated, to the point where you feel like you are really losing it, it can be quite scary. Don't let things get to that point. Star exercising to help with your mood, take a yoga class to calm yourself down and please speak to a therapist.You'll feel so much better. Best of wishes
searching-soul searching-soul 5 years
My best friend went through this. I am almost positive that you are suffering from anxiety and most likely have an anxiety disorder. She could not be alone and there was a time when I used to spend the night on her couch when she was going through a bad bout of it.You are not weird and you are not alone. With the pressures, bad economy and other stress of society today many people are experiencing bad anxiety.Sometimes a past traumatic event can trigger it. I've had bad anxiety at one time too. Life can be great but it's not easy. Speak to a professional who can give you insight into what's going on and how to soothe yourself, when your boyfriend is not around. You'll be okay.
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