In a last ditch attempt to make herself seem worthy of our pity and a judge's leniency, Paris bought some- "What do you call them?" - books. And not just any old books, she bought self-help books. Yep, she even broke down and bought the Bible (pronounced "Beeble"). Although she's still trying to make Hooked On Phonics work for her, this is NOT a publicity stunt. Paris is, like, totally serious about this reading trend.
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