There ain't no party like a douchebag party. If you ain't down, talk to the hand, yo.
Vodka is a lot like hair gel: you can nevah-evah have too much on you.
A smile is cheesy. A pucker is pure playa.
He may buy shirts, but a true douche never wears them.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's. . .one heinous belt. But the stretchtastic silver shirt magnifies his manly muscles, no?
Every DB has to have his boys— cuz the girls are M.I.A.
Remember that Enrique Iglesias song?
"I can be your douchebag baby. I can pucker away the pain. And I will stand by you forever. You can share my tan spray, ok? . . ."
Yeah, it's his fave.