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Pillow Talk: Sweet Feet

Our physical and emotional health depend a great deal on the experience and quality of touching in our lives. Intimacy can be conveyed verbally, sexually or through many kinds of physical touching, like hugging, kissing, or holding hands. Long, lingering touch, the kind you experience during massage, takes time and attention, but it can create real feelings of connectedness and closeness.

It can be gratifying to give. A slow and thoughtful foot massage communicates a willingness to help calm, soothe and please a partner. Because it takes time and attention, it also communicates that your partner is a priority and a pleasure. It's also a way of being close that communicates an understanding that your partner works hard, has his own burdens, and deserves to be nurtured. Besides, our sensual lives too often take a backseat to our work lives, domestic lives, and our sexual lives.

Because feet are often neglected, paying special attention to them creates a sensual experience for both the mind and the body. We forget that the foot has many thousands of nerve endings and contains 28 small bones and long tendons running down from the leg muscles to the toes. If you're interested in a few quick tips for a relaxing and effective foot massage,


Begin by dimming the lights and playing some calming music. Use lotion or a nice oil (rose, peppermint or lavender are nice choices). Warm the oil in your hands, then start by slowly needing his feet all over. Remember to rub his calves and ankles, too. The ankles bear the pressure of the whole body weight and helping to ease tension here tremendously relaxing for the spine, hips and shoulders.

Place the first two fingers of each hand on the inner and outer ankle bones of one of his feet. Using medium pressure, rub circles around those areas simultaneously. Pressure points on the outer ankles are connected by nerves to his testicles and the inner ankles to his prostate, so this might be erotic for him. For something more arousing, gently press your fingertips firmly into the fleshier parts around his ankle bones.

Rub the oil into the soles of each foot, using your thumbs to massage the arches and balls of the feet. Alternate with soft strokes, which reduce anxiety and promote good sleep. Don't forget the toes; spend time rubbing and rolling each one, from the largest to the smallest. Then knead his heel with your thumbs for a few minutes. Finish with giving the big toes a good squeeze; applying pressure there will create an even more relaxed state of mind. Then switch feet.

Any other tips you'd like to share with us about good massages, please feel free!

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