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Political and Religious Differences in Relationships

Politics of Love: How Do You Make Opposing Views Work?

I've never dated someone with drastically different political views, but I've certainly had major differences of opinion. When I can tell neither of us will budge, I usually file it under "do not ever bring up as long as we both shall love." I doubt that's the best solution for life-long relationships, when you need to understand how someone you love can think that.

Besides choosing a dude who looks like your dad, sharing values is a major criteria when mate shopping. But sometimes people love each other despite political, religious, and moral differences. If that's you, how have you made it work?

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amber512 amber512 5 years
My husband and I disagree completely on religion and politics. But, we still have a mad respect and love for one another. We can talk about our own opinions freely and we don't have to worry about offending the other person. It works for us, but I could see how it wouldn't work for others.
Camarogirl67 Camarogirl67 5 years
Wow, first may I say - never has a site such as Tressugar so accurately followed the pending issues in my relationship! (Now marriage). My husband and I are different in our political views and, more recently, religious views (he "came out" as a Christian during an argument a few months ago). It wasn't too much of a challenge up until recently. We would avoid certain topics but usually when we "debated" we stayed pretty centrist and at the very least respectful. I definitely see the ease in having a mate with the same views. It would be nice to agree more ;o)
lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
Oh, and I will let you know if I find any additional statistics. I was hoping the link might have some sort of breakdown regarding how observant people are and whether that makes a difference regarding likelihood to divorce. (My inclination is to go with what seems obvious, that more religiously observant interfaith couples would be more likely to divorce since their religion would be a bigger part of their lives, but on the other hand, more observant people would probably be less likely to enter interfaith marriages in the first place.) I did find a copy of the same survey from 2008, but it doesn't seem to have any data on interfaith marriage: http://www.americanreligionsurvey-aris.org/reports/ARIS_Report_2008.pdf
lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
:headsmack: I don't know why I didn't think to look at the Wikipedia entry on Divorce. I just automatically looked at the Interfaith Marriage entry. Thanks!
lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
SKG, I'm having trouble finding that statistic on Wikipedia. (I wanted to read the original linked article for the statistic, since I find that subject very interesting.) I looked through the entry entitled "Interfaith marriage," but it's not there. Which entry is it in?
tlsgirl tlsgirl 5 years
Luckily my boyfriend and I don't differ on politics or religion. I would find it impossible to date someone who was conservative or religious, so for me it wouldn't actually work at all.
stephley stephley 5 years
To me, issues like war are too important to file under 'do not discuss.'
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I think if you want an open and honest relationship/marriage, this would be very hard to do. I'd hate to have to "file" issues under the "never-talk-about-it" category. I don't enjoy silence in relationships. Plus, you just know how the other one feels anyway. So it's like a silent, but seething tension. I'm with SKG... I just don't think differences in fundamental values are realistic in making a life together.It has nothing to do with tolerance or respect for me. I have friends from all sorts of different walks of life, but when it comes to the man I want to share my life with (and possibly raise children with), I would not want our core values to be different.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I think if you want an open and honest relationship/marriage, this would be very hard to do. I'd hate to have to "file" issues under the "never-talk-about-it" category. I don't enjoy silence in relationships. Plus, you just know how the other one feels anyway. So it's like a silent, but seething tension. I'm with SKG... I just don't think differences in fundamental values are realistic in making a life together. It has nothing to do with tolerance or respect for me. I have friends from all sorts of different walks of life, but when it comes to the man I want to share my life with (and possibly raise children with), I would not want our core values to be different.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
I definitely think long-term relationships between people with opposing religious views can work. Like toty said, it's about respect. So many people on both sides of the aisle like to claim some sort of moral superiority due to their political views, but as long as neither person is that type of person, I think it can work well! (And my parents, who have been very happily married since 1973, despite subscribing to different political beliefs, can attest to this.)I will add that I think most people do have their "deal-breakers," and that's fine. But it's not as if I couldn't (and haven't) fall in love with someone who believes government should have a bigger role in our day-to-day lives than I do.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
I definitely think long-term relationships between people with opposing religious views can work. Like toty said, it's about respect. So many people on both sides of the aisle like to claim some sort of moral superiority due to their political views, but as long as neither person is that type of person, I think it can work well! (And my parents, who have been very happily married since 1973, despite subscribing to different political beliefs, can attest to this.) I will add that I think most people do have their "deal-breakers," and that's fine. But it's not as if I couldn't (and haven't) fall in love with someone who believes government should have a bigger role in our day-to-day lives than I do.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
I forgot to add that the things you share have to be more important than what you don't share.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
It takes a lot of respect. You have to respect the person you are with and respect his or her views. But I believe that there is something you have to share in order to make it work, and it also depends on how passionate you are about your convictions. It is all about respect.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
I would say that my boyfriend and my values and morals are very closely aligned, we just have opposing views on the role that government should play. For example, we both think that homelessness is sad and those people need help, so I donate to local, private non profits and volunteer at the local soup kitchen, and he votes for more government spending to help the homeless. But it does lead to fights, so we just don't discuss it. It doesn't really impact our relationship except right around the presidential elections (since they are more in your face).
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
I would say that my boyfriend and my values and morals are very closely aligned, we just have opposing views on the role that government should play. For example, we both think that homelessness is sad and those people need help, so I donate to local, private non profits and volunteer at the local soup kitchen, and he votes for more government spending to help the homeless. But it does lead to fights, so we just don't discuss it. It doesn't really impact our relationship except right around the presidential elections (since they are more in your face).
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