Therapy is expensive. And no, I'm not speaking from experience, but if I were- (ahem)- then I'd tell you that all therapists say the same things. So someone clued in to this idea and created the "Ask Dr. Chuck Therapist Doll."
Are you dysfunctional? Simply grab Dr. Chuck's hand, give it a tight squeeze, and you'll hear one of the nine lines any therapist is paid to tell you, such as:
“I think it’s safe to say that any family that uses a straight-jacket as their coat of arms is pretty dysfunctional.”
Now doesn't that bit of reassurance feel better? And it's especially valuable coming from an overdressed dude wearing a tie and khakis, with a nasty hair part, and a raised eyebrow. Folks, the therapeutic experience doesn't get anymore real than this. I guess.