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Proposing a Long-Distance Relationship

Group Therapy: Proposing a Long-Distance Relationship

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I recently met a guy who was doing an internship in the city for 3 months. He's going back to LA, and I would like to hold on to him. I'd like to propose a long distance relationship for a year, as he'll be done with his studies and move back to the city. We can then be together. I feel like he's my other half. I was wondering if you could give me some advice as to how we can make this work for a year. Getting into a long distance relationship after a couple of weeks of dating is hard as we don't know each other. Any advice? How would you approach this?

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jessr1214 jessr1214 5 years
My boyfriend and I lived 6 hours apart when we met at a mutual friend's wedding...he came to visit 3 weeks later and we decided to try to make it work, and a year later are living together and i am the happiest i have ever been. it was definitely hard to be apart and we both had to work on some ways we had of communicating with each other, but i think it ultimately made our relationship that much stronger, especially once we were able to actually be together. that being said...i wouldnt just go up to this guy and propose a long distance relationship, that might freak him out. maybe just suggest a visit and see how things go? you said yourself you dont really know each other, so maybe just ease off trying to put a title on your relationship and focus on getting to know one another.
shreerose shreerose 5 years
I agree with Joe. I'm not saying that long distance relationships NEVER work. I just think it's meant for people who have been together for years and years and have already built up that trust. Good luck!
fashionplate525 fashionplate525 5 years
I think the first thing, is to openly communicate with him and see if he is interested in the same thing, as many of the posters above mentioned. While it may be hard, LDR are not impossible and I am proof of that, as I met my S.O. while I was living away at school, and we dated for 6 months before ever living in the same state. Sure, it was hard, but we were both willing to make the commitment. In fact, in our situation, it was almost refreshing being able to get to know one another mostly by talking and emails and intensive visits. I wish you the best of luck, no matter what the situation turns out to be!
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
Hmm. Not so sure about an exclusive relationship after such a short amount of time, but feel free to keep the option open for when he comes back into town. I don't want to sound like Debbie Downer, but don't put all your eggs in one basket on this one. Two weeks is hardly enough time to know someone well enough to propose a year-long LDR.
Rjs-baby-girl Rjs-baby-girl 5 years
I was in a LDR with my husband and it is truly the hardest thing ever. You have to be very much in love to make it work and not go crazy when you are committed and can't see, touch, kiss, etc. Love isn't enough, it takes lots of patience and communication skills. Mostly communication skills. And a high level of trust. I would suggest like the others, to not be committed while you guys are away, and then see if it can work out once you are close again.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
Long distance relationship? No. Long distance flirtation? Definitely, yes!
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Ummmm....I think you need to chill. Do you have any idea how this guy feels about you? For all you know, you are a summer thing to him. You can't "hold on" to someone if he is not interested in something long term. I am not saying he isn't, you just don't know. I agree with the others...suggest keeping in touch, but date other people. LDR are difficult even if BOTH parties are committed, and it doesn't sound like you have even discussed it with him. I can almost guarantee he will not want an exclusive LDR with you after such a short time together. Please try not to get your hopes up.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Ummmm....I think you need to chill. Do you have any idea how this guy feels about you? For all you know, you are a summer thing to him. You can't "hold on" to someone if he is not interested in something long term. I am not saying he isn't, you just don't know.I agree with the others...suggest keeping in touch, but date other people. LDR are difficult even if BOTH parties are committed, and it doesn't sound like you have even discussed it with him. I can almost guarantee he will not want an exclusive LDR with you after such a short time together. Please try not to get your hopes up.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
Right on Joe. I was about to say the same thing. I don't know him enough to comment on how he'd feel about a LDR, but he might want to sow some wild oats while he's in LA, you should let him have the freedom to do that.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
Right on Joe. I was about to say the same thing.I don't know him enough to comment on how he'd feel about a LDR, but he might want to sow some wild oats while he's in LA, you should let him have the freedom to do that.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 5 years
I recommend telling him that you like him, but you realize that becoming exclusive after such a short while and then going long distance is difficult. So I advise you to keep talking to him via phone and email, but make it clear that both of you are still free to see other people. Then, when he moves back in a year, the two of you can pick it up from there.
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