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A Real Pot Sticker of A Situation

Dear Sugar
My husband has lied to me on four occasions about buying marijuana. It is slowly making me second guess my relationship with him. I've told him plenty of times that he shouldn't lie to me about smoking or buying it. The last time he lied about buying pot I told him that I would leave him. This morning he lied about it again. Should I let this go or keep beating a dead horse? Angry Abigail

Dear Angry Abigail
One of the many problems here (aside from your husband's illegal drug problem) is that you've just made an empty threat. An empty threat is a promise that you haven't followed through on. He knows that you aren't going to leave him over marijuana so don't say that you are. Make the consequences real and make them about lying, not about the pot smoking. When he's lying to you he is; disrespecting you, your marriage and withholding information from you. Talk to him again about how this makes you feel. If he's going to do it, then he needs to tell you about it. Can you live with that or does it bother you so much that it will eventually drive you to leave? If that is the case, then he needs to decide which is more important to him. If you can live with him smoking, but just not lying then try to set some rules about it. Maybe he can smoke, but only before bed and only outside of the house. Also, discuss how much he can spend on it per month. Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning drug use; I'm just offering negotiation tools.

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