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Reasons to Have a Long or Short Engagement

Your Reasons For Having a Long or Short Engagement

We asked whether you'd want a long or short engagement, and you gave us some great responses on the site and on our Facebook page. So far long engagements have the upper hand but not by a lot! While some say it depends on the situation, many of you had reasons for why you'd go with one over the other. So here are some of your reasons (and it looks like the short-engagement voters even like short, to-the-point responses!):

Long Engagement

  • "Long. It allows for better planning, and easier for distant relatives to plan ahead. (I plan on sending out save the dates at least eight months in advance instead of six. Plane tickets from El Salvador and Montreal to SF are 'spensive.)" — Elizabeth
  • "Had several short (too short, barely-knew-the-bloke engagements) . . . I'm going strong for long this time (four years now, but it will happen before five)." — Lisa
  • "Long, for sure. I just got divorced on Monday from my first marriage. Getting married too fast is a MISTAKE! Make it a long engagement, and ask yourself everyday if you can handle living with his/her quirks and annoyances every day for the rest of your life. Don't think about changing them, JUST AS THEY ARE, could you bare it? If not, double your engagement time and see where you both stand after that. Because divorce is truly a b*tch — just saying." — Samantha
  • "I personally like a long engagement, it gives you time to spectate the situation and to make sure that this is what you want. If you rush into it quickly you are going to be faced with more stress." — Ashley
  • "I met my hubby at age 14, started dating at 17, engaged at 22, married at 24. Still happily married 10 years later. I prefer the long engagement (two years in our case) because it allows you to plan every detail. I had the wedding of my dreams!" — Lucy

Short Engagement

  • "Short . . . been through the long engagement . . . second time around can be short." — Jeanne
  • "Short! If you are engaged then you are obviously serious, so what's the point in waiting more than a year?" — Nicole
  • "None is perfect. I'd rather just go from being not married to married and skip the hullabaloo." — Robin
  • "Short. Why wait?" — Lacy

Photos by Sarah Layne Photography via Green Wedding Shoes

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stellaRuby stellaRuby 5 years
I have never understood a long engagement. If you are not ready to get married then you should not be engaged.
sweetpea1987 sweetpea1987 5 years
Our engagement was a yr long, due to the fact we had other plans for before we got married and we didn't have a date in mind yet. I just started planning in January, for our May 7th wedding and I'm done now..only took 3 and a half months.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
How about not rushing into an engagement, and then you don't have to worry about it!
snarkypants snarkypants 5 years
me too beth! although i really can't get over the use of the word 'spensive. weird.
Vanonymous Vanonymous 5 years
i'm having a pretty short engagement (a little over six months). i think it's the perfect amount of time. you can plan things out but don't have time to completely obsess and over analyze (which i would totally do). as far as giving yourself time to make sure he's the one - well, i would recommend doing that before getting engaged (and not using your engagement as the time to determine that). i've been friends with my fiance since I was 15, started dating at 20, got engaged at 26, and will get married just shy of 27. i don't think a 2 year engagement would make any difference at this point. :)
bethinabox bethinabox 5 years
I'm mildly amused by the fact that those for long engagements wrote out long responses, and those for the short engagement wrote very brief answers. :P
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