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Relationship Protocol: Exclusivity or "The Talk"

Relationship Protocol: Exclusivity or "The Talk"

So often I hear people refer to having the “the talk” in a new relationship to determine where the relationship is headed. Deciding to be in a committed, exclusive relationship is a big deal for many couples as they quickly move from single to taken. Even still I’ve always held onto the romantic notion that the exclusivity talk isn't always necessary; instead, a relationship can grow gradually, until you know he’s not seeing anyone else because he’s always with you!

On the other hand, making something official removes opportunity for confusion (or seeing other people), so in that context I can understand the desire to have “the talk.” In your own relationships, have you found a discussion about whether or not you’re exclusively together to be necessary? Or like me, do you prefer just to see what your relationship grows into?

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Join The Conversation
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
With my husband we were long distance but we were still always on the phone during our free time or in the car on the way to seeing each other. I knew when he was spending time with friends that there were no girls there haha. None of his friends had gfs so they all hung out together. We never had to have the talk because we only wanted each other and we were head over heels.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 7 years
I've always be "the talk" kind of girl because I hate being in that in-between stage and I hate playing games if I'm really interested in a guy. If he can't handle "the talk" then he's not worth it anyway.
kendallina kendallina 7 years
I just had the most awkward and aggravating talk about exclusivity with a guy that I have been seeing. He initiated the talk and truly confused me. I am still wondering what we are. It doesn't help that he left for Puerto Rico (vacation) the next day and will be gone for a week so I can't ask him what's up. I used to think "the talk" was necessary, but I don't feel that way anymore and would rather things just happen.
nutella2683 nutella2683 7 years
For me, it just kinda develops over time although I can see the need for someone to have the talk so that you know where you stand as a couple. Right now I feel like we're heading in that direction where I need to know what we are to each other because he's moving to my city and it seems like we're settling into that relationship comfort kinda phase so might as well find out if that's what we are.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 7 years
I never had the "talk" until I met my current bf. i didn't need it because i didnot really want to stay with those guys for the long run. I asked my current bf - "where this is going" on the second date because i want to make sure we were on the same page... So i guess it depends on the guy and how serouis i am...
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 7 years
I never had the "talk" until I met my current bf. i didn't need it because i didnot really want to stay with those guys for the long run. I asked my current bf - "where this is going" on the second date because i want to make sure we were on the same page... So i guess it depends on the guy and how serouis i am...
Greentea1203 Greentea1203 7 years
Ugh! The new guy I've been seeing for about 3 months told me on one of our first dates that he wanted to date me with the possibility of marriage and that he eventually wanted kids. I just nodded at the time--since I really liked him, but eventually I told him that it totally freaked me out. I NEVER want kids, and I'm not even sure I want to ever get married. Things were going great until one day I mentioned marriage was a long ways away, and he said, 'Is it?' I pretty much left and avoided him for days.
geebers geebers 7 years
I never had the "talk" - just referred to him as my boyfriend first (yup -I dont understand why I have to wait for HIM to grow into it hahaha). Then he knew where I stood and all was good.
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 7 years
In the past, people have generally had "the talk" with me... so I guess I could say that I am more of a what-it-grows-into kind of person, but I've never been turned off or irritated by "the talk". Its kind of cute when guys do it ;)
buttafli2112 buttafli2112 7 years
To me, its akward either way..it just really depends on the situation..from my experience (which isnt that much) guys don't like to have 'the talk' they just want to see where it goes, or doesn't go.
RustyAngel73 RustyAngel73 7 years
I'd prefer to have the talk...well, a casual version of it.
megw06 megw06 7 years
Me and my current bf went somewhere where everyone was asking us if we were dating (we have a lot of mutual friends). At the end of the night we were like...so are we? That took care of that!
jld392 jld392 7 years
great topic! very relavent
jld392 jld392 7 years
great topic! very relavent
jld392 jld392 7 years
I agree that the talk is not always necessary...but when can you start referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend? Ive been dating my guy for nearly 4 months and neither of us have said it. Is it safe to just introduce him as my boyfriend!?!? Im getting frustrated!!
jld392 jld392 7 years
I agree that the talk is not always necessary... but when can you start referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend? Ive been dating my guy for nearly 4 months and neither of us have said it. Is it safe to just introduce him as my boyfriend!?!? Im getting frustrated!!
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I'm with Winniecooper.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I'm with Winniecooper.
SMEEheehee SMEEheehee 7 years
I think it depends on the situation. Sometimes, you need to have the talk in order to make your intentions clear.
winniecooper winniecooper 7 years
Ugh. Please don't have the talk. It's so desperado. Just let the guy wonder about you, then let him profess his adoration for you. Don't be that "big talk" girl. No one likes her or wants to be her boyfriend.
LadyAngel89 LadyAngel89 7 years
My big thing was always how do you know when is the right time to have "the talk"? Are you going to scare them away? What if you do and they're simply just not ready for such a decision? I've always found it just fine to take things as they come. The last time I remember having the "talk" with a guy was in the sixth grade and he asked me to "go steady" lol. Ever since I have always just let life play itself the way it wants.
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