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Relationship Protocol: How Do You Feel About Your Man Staying Out Late?

I caught up on Monday night's episode of The City last night, and I have to say, Jay's late-night antics really made me doubt his trustworthiness. He's currently living with his girlfriend, Whitney, while he looks for a new apartment, and while she's home cozy in bed, he's out being the rock star that he is until the wee hours of the morning, doing who knows what!

I happen to agree with the saying "nothing good happens after midnight" — well, maybe 2 a.m.! — but how would you feel if your significant other was out on the town until, two, three, or four in the morning? Would it be a red flag that he was up to no good, or does the time he comes home have no relevance to you whatsoever?

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princess184 princess184 4 years
After reading all these posts I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't find someone with my same situation to compare myself to. = ( My boyfriend and I have been living together for three months and we are to get married in a few months. I am very concerned with his "party habits" and am considering putting the wedding off. I am a teacher at an elementary school and must be at work by 7:30 am M-F. We only have one vehicle so I depend on him to drop me off everyday. After he drops me off he goes to his office and attempts to work. He shares a small office with his friends, and they are all self employed. Ever since I moved in with him he has not been making any money at all, and I have been supporting us. He used to organize parties at clubs, so he knows pretty much all the party people in our city. After not having a productive day at his office he will go out with his friends to the clubs or wherever and not come home until 5 am. And every time he comes home he's WASTED. He is the type of drinker that forgets what happens when he is drunk. He often does this, while I am at home sleeping so that I can get up in the morning to go to work and support us. I have told him many times it's unfair for him to party like that when I have to stay home and sleep. When he stays out late, he just sleeps all day after taking me to work, which of course is no way for a self employed person to be productive. He constantly talks about how he wants to marry me and have kids with me but I feel insecure about his party habits, I would never want my kids to have a father that comes home drunk at 5 am, as it would set a bad example and sense of insecurity for them. I see this staying out late as a form of disrespect and lack of responsibility. Here's the funny thing, I'm 23 and he's 30. Oh and did I mention that his cellphone is always "dead" when I try to call him when he is out late?
nenafichu nenafichu 4 years
well, it doesnt mater if you do trust him or not! my boyfriend my 10 month old baby father. i MET HIM THAT WAY ,BUT i couldnt do it anymore ,it was almost every day monday thru friday he didnt care, never,he always said is not another woman is nothing bad is only me and the friends< come on!!! until 5 or even 9 in the morning/??? AND YES BAR CLOSED AT 2am?so what else can i do then just kick him out of my house not for my own good but for my two kids, im more woman than that and i deserve better not a man from the street that it doesnt give me nothing but hurts. thank but help me because he always come back like nothing happen!! what can i do?
nenafichu nenafichu 4 years
well, it doesnt mater if you do trust him or not! my boyfriend my 10 month old baby father. i MET HIM THAT WAY ,BUT i couldnt do it anymore ,it was almost every day monday thru friday he didnt care, never,he always said is not another woman is nothing bad is only me and the friends< come on!!! until 5 or even 9 in the morning/??? AND YES BAR CLOSED AT 2am?so what else can i do then just kick him out of my house not for my own good but for my two kids, im more woman than that and i deserve better not a man from the street that it doesnt give me nothing but hurts. thank but help me because he always come back like nothing happen!! what can i do?
Symphonee Symphonee 6 years
My BF usually is out doing gigs, recording in the studio, or doing security so I don't worry if he's not home by 3 am. I party with him sometimes with the same group of people so no worries. He usually is home by that time because he prefers to be anyway. I just don't fall asleep to quickly when he is not in bed so its feel funny.
sparklestar sparklestar 6 years
My boyfriend doesn't stay out late so this isn't an issue. I wouldn't be happy about it though. I like my sleep!
richandfamous10 richandfamous10 6 years
I've been with my boyfriend for a long time and I am surprised at how many people are saying "once in awhile is okay but not every night." As if there is no middle ground.I think if my guy went out every night and stayed out til 4 or 5am, that would be odd - mostly b/c I wouldn't date a guy that didn't care about things outside of going out.HOWEVER, once in awhile is NOT all I would "allow" my guy. In my opinion, just because a guy is dating me or even married to me does not mean he can only go out and stay out late with his guy friends once in awhile. Serious relationship/marriage should not equal becoming a homebody with your significant other and going out with your buddies once in awhile or once every few months. I don't get it. I'd be fine if he did it even twice weekly if he wanted. I trust him 150% and want him to have fun, however late it is.
richandfamous10 richandfamous10 6 years
I've been with my boyfriend for a long time and I am surprised at how many people are saying "once in awhile is okay but not every night." As if there is no middle ground. I think if my guy went out every night and stayed out til 4 or 5am, that would be odd - mostly b/c I wouldn't date a guy that didn't care about things outside of going out. HOWEVER, once in awhile is NOT all I would "allow" my guy. In my opinion, just because a guy is dating me or even married to me does not mean he can only go out and stay out late with his guy friends once in awhile. Serious relationship/marriage should not equal becoming a homebody with your significant other and going out with your buddies once in awhile or once every few months. I don't get it. I'd be fine if he did it even twice weekly if he wanted. I trust him 150% and want him to have fun, however late it is.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 6 years
I trust my bf and know everyone he hangs out with and vice versa so I don't worry as long as its not habitual.
melizzle melizzle 6 years
Don't care. Just let me know you won't be home.
Isista Isista 6 years
I trust my boyfriend. Period. I mean, it is nice for him to let me know if he's going out, so that I don't make plans involving him or wait up late thinking he'll be home earlier, but I don't get upset or jealous. I have been worried before, but that's because we're in college and it was during Greek week, when a lot of drunks are out late.
aimeeb aimeeb 6 years
On a rare occasion without me is fine but other than that I'm not okay with it.
heatherhas heatherhas 6 years
*guy :oops:
heatherhas heatherhas 6 years
*guy :oops:
heatherhas heatherhas 6 years
Hmm. In Whitney's situation, I would probably have raked my guys over the coals a little bit too.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 6 years
Depends on if I can trust him or not, and how much booze his friends will ply him with.
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